Something to ponder

Before this next new year begins, I thought of something as I sat at home sick once more from a new disease I have never heard of until Saturday.  I have uvulalists, its like strep of the hangy down thing in back of your throat.  Trust me it is different than strep throat, usually within a day of antibodics you are feeling better but with this the blisters down throat last a little longer. But with a shot in rear and a weeks worth of pills I should be better in no time, but getting back to my title state of something to ponder.  When I read on Facebook about great and miraculous things that happen in peoples life they always say God is so good.  Isn't God good in the hard and bad times also. I spoke with a friend of ours who wife died this summer at the young age of 40, he sang a song that he use to always sing before she spoke about have MS and gave her testimony for the first time since her death. To say it was moving is a understatement.  The meaning of the song was if all was taken away would I still praise you. If you knew this man you would not believe what a testimony he has had since her death. I posed this questions to him and his answer was I think God is even greater in the hard times.  I am sorry to say that I have not even hinted that God is good these last 6 months. But I do want to testify today that no matter what is happening. no matter the illness, no matter how life seems totally confusing sometimes...GOD IS GOOD

Reflection of Christmas Past

Yesterday was my first Christmas without my mother, with out my daughter living at home and my first Christmas day without seeing my son.  Joey asked me last night on the way to my Moms house what was I thinking about and I told him I was trying very hard not to think.  You see, we thinkers, can think our self down into a pit if we are not careful. We can think, analyze, wonder what ifs and drive our self crazy with our own minds. So this Holiday I decided I would not think about much from Thanksgiving until first of year. I told my friend Cindy this year my Christmas tree probably looked the best it has looked in years and only my immediate family saw it.  Usually from Thanksgiving to Christmas I try and have two nights a week with people over but this year I just couldn't entertain.  And you know what I found out, that its alright to feel this way, I am not going to beat myself up. I of course was a little sad at the small amount of activity we had, but deep down I know its what I needed for this year.  It was weird sitting at mom's house, messing in her kitchen, and not hearing her laugh this year. She liked to laugh. My sister struggled alot yesterday, I think her way of dealing was taking alot of napsthrough out the day. I don't think Josh wanted to handle going out to moms without her there so they just stayed at Abby's family events. Wesley was having one of his spells, so he and Audrey  just hung out close to home and his Dad and Moms houses.
I know life is always changing, sometimes good,sometimes not so good, but we have to adjust. But thank goodness the one who allows me to walk through the life I live never changes.
  James 1:17  Everything good comes from God. Every perfect gift is from him. These good gifts come down from the Father who made all the lights in the sky. But God never changes like the shadows from those lights. He is always the same

Praise the Lord

Wesley's report from his MRI showed no lesions for MS. Praise the Lord.  I spoke with the Radiologist, he is a friend of my sisters, so Wesley told him to call me with results.  I told him Wesley's symptoms and he reviewed it again and said that it looks like a normal brain to him.  So we are thankful they didn't see any of this disease or a brain tumor or anything like that.  Now they will have to go a different route. Audrey was so relieved that they decided that they will not talk about it until they hear from Dr. on what the next plan is. I will say that I am normally a positive person but since this year has kicked us in the gut many times I will be honest and say that I really was expecting the worse. A friend of mine from church who puts me in my place a lot of times said I can't believe you are just writing off that it could be something as simple as  a pinched nerve and going straight to MS. Now while Wesley does have a lot of the listed symptoms for MS, the Lord did bring to mind in the middle of the night that I was being very negative and not even expecting a positive outcome which is so not my usual character.  So I had to tell Audrey I was sorry for being such a negative ninny and that I would look for the positive first 

Emmanuel

                                    Heard this morning and remembered why I loved it so...

Frustrated

Do you know that the whole medical field can be very frustrating.  I guess because people are living longer, we have so many that are not on health insurance,people go to the doctor for every little thing  and now with the new health care mess we are getting ready to start. Dealing with protocol from Dr's offices can be a pain. Once again they want to run blood work on Wesley since this Dr. has never seen him before.  They once again did not order a MRI, they want to wait and see what the test show.
The  Dr.  yesterday told him you don't have MS, how does he know without running a test, just by their 15 minute visit, and Audrey said he talked down to them so bad that she was frustrated when they left.  He told them he probably had a thyroid issue, BS is all I can say. He went on to tell  them they were the number one office dealing with MS, so by looking at people he is a expert without  doing any medical test.  To say that his mother, me and his step-mom (who is a nurse) were upset is a understatement.  As you get older you realized how the real world works and you have to be the advocate for yourself in the medical field.  They don't really care because it has nothing to do with them. You are a number on a chart and money in the bank.  Last night Wesley cooked us supper and he said I don't want to talk about any of this tonight, so we didn't.  But today is a new day....

Harpers first solo with be....

Harper is singing her first solo Sunday night at church, I know I will probably cry even though we have been singing it for weeks....

Todays a new day

Todays a new day and a new thought process...I love Christmas music so here is one of my favorites

Ankle panties

As I sit here I am trying hard to put on my so called big girl panties, but I think I want a new pair...LOL Since my last health post, I am now scheduled to see a thyroid doctor, I would spell out the proper name for it but I did graduate for North Davidson.  He will do another ultrasound and possible biopsy the day after Christmas. My BP is a little under control, but head still hurts.
Wesley went to doctor today and they are setting up a appointment with a neurologist to see if he has MS. They think as we have that he has alot of the symptoms.  So we will rule out steps and go from there.  As a mother in law, there is not much I can do but pray and wait.  As a mother of the newlywed bride I will say my big girl panties are at my ankles. Audrey of course is very nervous, she grew up with a friend of mine who has MS and we just had a young friend die a few months ago from MS, so that is what she is thinking on. Of course we as humans go to worse case scenario and it could be a slipped disc or something else.
Life is hard sometimes I truly can't imagine going through this time without the comfort of the Lord, and prayers from family and friends.

Christmas Activities

Before

After, I love the purple

My tree this year has alot of Audreys wedding things on it, made it look real rustic

Nervous, not sure who is coming through the door

She is starting to smile...I see my Daddy

Happy

 I like for some reason..... Never heard it before till 4:30 in morning and it caught my attention....

I first want to say that I am a very blessed woman to have my family,  My test results did show a small stroke, however my CT showed it to be small enough  that the doctor does not think this is the cause for my headaches.  My heart test were good  and my  caryatid exam showed a little blockage but not enough to worry about right now.  I have a few little things on my thyroid  that need to be checked and this could actually be causing some of my issues. The body is a marvelous and delicate thing that I can never understand why a doctor would not be a Christian after learning how detailed and complicated a human body works. So as Joey says after $10K  we have found out I'm just getting old and hormonal.  So hopefully that means I can get a handle on the headaches and get to the new normal life of a 50 year old. 
Life at the Nifong home is never boring, we are always on our toes.  Thanksgiving Day was no exception.  I noticed Audrey seemed a little panicky when she walked in, Abby left with her, so I assumed they were hiding a present for Christmas or something. But instead, Wesley was in car and was not able to feel his hands, left arm, left side of face, and leg.  Audrey had drove like a mad women to get to the house so that Abby could check him out because he wouldn't let her go to hospital. Some of the feeling came back as the day went on, and his fogginess left him, His family was going to go and put out his granddad ashes that afternoon, but Wesley never really got to feeling better so instead they took him to ER in Davie.  They did not do a thing, they thought he was dehydrated, not..... He has a appointment Monday with family doctor  and hopefully with a Neurologist as quick as possible.  Audrey said today, I sure hope whatever this is we are going through as a family lets up soon. Please pray for Wesley, of course Joey and I are concerned, our brains go to everything that could be wrong, and he has some major symptoms. Abby being a nurse has concerns and he listens to her before he listens to us and she had a heart to heart with him. So I and glad he took her serious and set up the appointment.
 I was reading tonight in Joel and they had all kinds of locust destroying everything around them. The Lord said to them I will give you back what you have lost, but a few verses down it says, It was I who sent this great destroying army against you.   I know today's religious groups want to say that God is love and he would not bring bad to your life if you are obedient, but what stuck out while reading this book of the Bible is the line It Was I who sent this, sometimes we have to go through hard times and God allows, sends however you want to put it so that we will know what he says a few verses later, Then you will know that I am the Lord your God and there is no other.

Thankful Wednesday

Once again I have decided to be thankful and you do know that this is decision that we each make with the life we are given.  We can be thankful or we can always be wishing and wanting more.  I am thankful for a warm and cozy home, there are families in the world who live in a 8 x 8 brick hut with no water, electricity, or furniture.  I am thankful for clean water even when I really don't like drinking it and would rather have a coke. 1 in 6 people don't have clean drinking water. I am thankful that I can run to Walgreen's and get medicine for anything I might need when children are dying in the world because they have no Imodium to stop their poor bellies from hurting. I am thankful that I have food to eat when there are people around the world who have only a cup of rice a day to eat.  I am thankful to live here in America and am able to work and make some money to pay our bills when other countries live on $2 a day. In  saying all of this, what a humbling thought all of this is when you wonder why I live here and not there.  That God choose this place and time for me to live and that I need to make sure that I don't waste it, take advantage of it,  appreciate it and respect it .

Test and more test

Lets just say that I am not going to be sick ever again. I went to the neurologist office Thursday, stress from the very beginning, I am not surprised I didn't have a stroke there and then.  I walked into a office of 20 people, and I am the youngest by 15 years, average age had to be 75 .The doctor was 2 hrs behind, how do you get 2 hrs behind unless someone over books on purpose, I know how these offices work and I was for warned about how this office seems to always be behind.  Then I met the Dr. and lets just say we did not ge haw  as they say.  He came in rattled, told me things about myself they were not about me but must be some other patient.  Said he needed to shoot two needles in my neck ...What?  You don't know me from Adams house cat and you just want me to trust you like that.
Then to top it off he told me to calm down that I was getting too excited because I kept trying to ask questions. I finally gave in and let him give me the shots and it did help my neck and head, today it doesn't hurt hardly at all.  So after entering that office at 10:30 I finally left there at 1:00. They have decided that I had some type of stroke, so I went that afternoon to a CT scan and lets just say that the warm iodine they shoot through your veins makes you feel like you have wet you pants at one point. Then yesterday I went to hospital for them to check heart and then they shot saline bubble in veins (this was cold not hot) to see where the bubble go through your veins.  I go next week for a ultrasound of my neck veins to see if they are clogged.  So if nothing else I will know that  the upper part of my body is working right. I now have  high blood pressure which I have never had until a month ago, I have to take BP medicine which is working on my body because now it is starting to drop too much so I have to take my Blood pressure regularly  to keep eye on it till they get medicine right.  I realized today that I do not want to be sick, I wish for the days of small doctors office, when you are not a chart but a person.  When its not to get you in and out and send the bill to insurance company and hope they pay, depending on how it is worded in the chart.  I am trying to stay calm and rest till we find out what is going on, but I hate to lay around if I feel pretty good and I did today, so I went to church and put up Christmas decorations with a couple friends because we never know what the next day holds and I need to use the day I have to do what I need to do. In saying all this I have had to laugh a few things that have happened, like a little old man and his wife who had been married for 63 years and their conversation in the office. I told Joey that could be us one day, here is how it went, "Could you please move so I can sit next to my bride, Robert watch your attitude, I'm not sitting here any longer I will get my walker and leave, She stood up and laughed and shook the car keys and said look what I have". 

WORSHIP

 

This last week in our Bible Study it was on how we are all created to worship something, if we are not worshipping God we are worshipping something whether it be creation, people, jobs, money or Satan. This is one of my favorite Christmas songs that came out a few years ago, it really isn't a typical Christmas tune.  But it says starry host will declare, all the earthy will declare, and no one else could ever compare... Glory in the Highest.. Please slow down today and really listen to these words and worship.

 

 

 

 

Nerves

For the last couple of months I have had a headache on and off, I figured once again welcome to the world of menopause.  My  personal nurse, Tobi said next time you have a headache take your blood pressure so we can make sure it is not tied to each other.  Last week  I had a tighten in back of head that lasted on and off all week. So I remember to take BP well I about fell off chair, my BP usually runs 120/75 it was 165/100 I thought maybe machine was off so I took it every half hour for a couple hrs, it fluctuated from 145/85 or 165/100 all afternoon, so I called office and they had me come in.  Because of moms only stroke and since it was life ending he decided I need a MRI Saturday. So stressing out in that little tube with the rock band drums going off in my head for 20 min. didn't help my BP. Today they finally tell me that I have to see a neurologist because it showed on the MRI a possible small stroke has occurred at some point.  BP is still up and down, they have put me on BP medicine till I get to Dr. Thursday.  In saying all this, please pray family is nervous along with me. My sister is very upset still having hard time with the holidays coming and mom not being there and I am really her only family now. So she is nervous along with me. Pastor asked Sunday, are you really ready for the Lord to return. Do you look for it? In saying this, are you really ready to leave this world? I say sure Heaven will be a better place, I know where I am going, but when the rubber hits the road, and you have to sit and think will I wake up in the morning or die in sleep, will I have a larger stroke like mom and it knock me out fast and hard, will I have a stroke and become like so many I know who have had a stroke. Trying to stay positive and except this time of life that God allows you to be in can sometimes knock the wind out of you. One thing I do know is that God is in complete control and I really don't have but so much of a say in what happens.  I know I can exercise more, eat better, sleep more and try and not stress over the dumb stuff and use the brains the Lord has given me.

The day in the life of Harper

I'm going to get you mam-maw

See I told you, I am funny

This is a big ole tree

Who me?

Yes I am going to roll your pumpkin in the woods.

Liberal Chrisitan????

What exactly is a liberal christian?  Josh has decided to comment on someones facebook page who wrote this. He is trying to figure out what a liberal christian is.  For us when you say liberal our  first thoughts go to someone who has no problem with gay marriage, abortion, letting the government take all our hard earned money and giving it to someone who doesn't want to work and wants handouts.Who thinks that everyone should be entitled to exactly the same thing on all accounts.
Where does Christianity fall into this view.  Maybe they really don't know what they are talking about but he has decided since they put it out there on facebook that he can debate this with them.  I looked up what the definition of liberal is "open to new behavior or opinions & willing to discard traditional values, not limited to authoritarian attitudes or views".  I am open to new opinions and sometimes even willing to change my stance on somethings, but my first rule is I have to see what the Bible says about it first.  The Bible is real specific on alot of things, feed the poor (that does not mean hand outs to everyone) in Proverbs it says many times if you don't work you do not  eat. Take care of widows and orphans, where the church has failed is that we have sat by and let the government take care of this instead of us. Love your neighbor as yourself, I like to think of people as my family, if I see them going down a destruction path I try to help, but today, most liberals do not want the help from Christians, they want us to mind our own business and let people do whatever makes them feel good.
Once again as I tell my children, Gods first concern is not whether you are happy or not, his first concern is if you are obedient to his Word. So whether I am closed minded or not by the definition of a liberal, my first and only concern as a christian is whether I am being obedient to Gods Word.

Thanks alot

Today is another thankful Wednesday.... I am so thankful for the cold mornings, for me they are very refreshing. I am thankful for a beautiful sky yesterday with great clouds, God is a great artist.  I am thankful for  a husband who lets me try new things and doesn't stop my creativity (more later on all my painting). I am thankful for friends who are real, ones that I trust completely, ones I can be my real self with. I am thankful for clean water just watching those poor people in the Philippians drinking dirty water just breaks my heart. I am thankful for Hallmark movies, I can't watch them all the time but they do get the Hope Boat floating.. LOL Don't we all wish for Hallmark endings and sometimes we need a little hope in the unimaginable. I am thankful that my Hope is in the Lord and he never fails....

First thing first...

First things first, Barbara's  surgery went well, Mark said Doctors were very pleased how good it went, Mark said prayers answered. Thank you for praying...
Second, has my mind being going crazy lately, I have been in deep thought on life in general. Life is short, I believe shorter than we even realize. I know I worry about dumb things that really have no baring on life in the big scheme of things. I am becoming such a Peter than I don't know what to do about it. I know the Bible says that in end times people will become a lover of themselves. But on my goodness I think I am going to throw up my insides if I have to see anymore or hear anymore about how pitiful we here in American. So and so offended me, so & so hurt my feelings, I think that my opinion is more important that yours,  children can't play kick Ball anymore, sports should only be for fun, we all should be accepting of diversity, and if your not you are a bigot. Why then when they are not accepting of my beliefs are they not called a bigot? I see  more pictures of people on Facebook with such vulgarity and they claim to be Christians. Why do we think we are so important?   I told the Sunday school class the other day, I have come to realize that in 100 years, who is going to remember me? When you think about it, this can be so humbling... I want to love the Lord with all I have and I struggle with myself everyday and my evil thoughts against people. I know that in the big scheme of things my only goal while I am here is to love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, mind & strength and wouldn't you know this is one of the hardest things to do when you are dealing with your own self....  I sit here and think about how spoiled and alienated I am from the world as a whole.Those poor people in the Philippines  have lost everything, The human trafficking around the world that goes on,  the Sudan and all the killing and I hear someone (Sometimes me) that it took a restaurant 25 minutes to get me my meal. Shame on me..  We fuss (Sometimes me) how hot or cold church was on Sunday, as we sit in a beautiful building in padded seats. We fuss (Sometimes me) when someone hasn't acknowledge me and we have a pity party as missionaries around the world are hardly ever acknowledged and those d--- Kardashians and Miley Cyrus are acknowledged at least 30 times a day on TV. I believe that this is a time in my life where I am really beginning to understand the "want and need" for Christ return.  I am getting that are you looking for me (Christ) that the Bible talks about. Sorry for my rants but thanks for listening

Please Pray

 

I want to live this live unsafe, unsure, but not afraid
What I want is to give all I got somehow
Giving up letting go of control right now

‘Cause I’m already out here, blind but I can see
I see the way You’re moving
God how I believe that
I can push back the mountains, can stand on the waves
I can see through the darkness, I’ll hold up the flame
Take me to the ocean I want to go deeper
I’m not afraid no, I’m a believer
And so I lose this life to find my way and come alive
They can try to deny what’s inside of me
But there is more, can’t ignore all the things unseen
Oh I believe I can walk on water with You, Lord
When I walk through the valley of the shadows
When I’m trapped in the middle of the battle
I will trust in You
‘Cause trouble comes, but you never let it take me
I hold fast ‘cause I know that You will save me
I will trust in You, I will trust in You
Oh here I stand all alone waiting on you, Lord
Waiting on You

Please pray for a friend of my undergoing a mastectomy today, the radiation and chemo did not work and the tumor grew. She is have her surgery today and if you know her she would claim this song.  She is a devout christian and worries more about her husband than herself.  She told Joey and I if I don't make it through this I will be OK I will be with Jesus, I worry more about Mark.

Her name is Barbara Tysinger

 

 

Thanks

I have to say that today I am very thankful for laughter.  I told Joey the other night after he made me laugh so hard, if you had a tombstone it would say "you ain't right" on the front of his.  I am so thankful for a man who makes me laugh, when life is hard you need laughter.  Harper has a new song she is singing right now and the only part I know is " and I won't back down, no I want back down" it is a Johnny Cash song that she heard on some cartoon about a cow named Ben and this is what he sings.  Josh said hopefully she will never hear the rest of the song, but imagine a 2 year on on the potty singing to top of her lungs " no I want back down" and you will laugh too. Its great to know that the God I  serve made laughter and has a sense of humor.  A day without humor is wasted....

Trunk or Treat

The Lunch Ladies

With Dora the Explorer

Farmer Joe & His Scarecrow

Little Miss Zebra

Audrey was just Audrey and Harper looked like a deer in headlights

Miss Lioness


We had a great night at Trunk or Treat, Joey and I were not sure how many would turn out with it being on a Wednesday Night instead of Halloween.  I made up 200 bags of candy and gave all of that out and had to use back up supply for the end. I loved Abby and Harper's costume, Josh was a Safari hunter(Go Figure) Abby's mom made her and Harper's costumes from flees blankets and Abby's mane was from a old mullet wig Josh had.  Very creative..... 

Thankfulness

Thankfulness, feeling or expressing gratitude, glad or relieved about something.  Everyday we should be able to be feel gratitude or glad about something.  Even the small beautiful butterfly that are starting to leave because they know the cold is coming.  I am not thankful for the stink bug, I'm not sure why God created those creatures, and nobody seems to know what they do or what predator wants to eat them.  I thought that my office had little lady bugs in them, but come to find out once I touched one that the shape of the body is just like a large stink bug, but they smell ten times worse than the large ones.  We had a guy from the county mow some of our fields behind office and he said there were millions swarming, he thought they were lady bugs.So I am totally surround by those little creatures. Now on to more thankfulness....
I am so thankful that my husband doesn't care that once a month I treat myself to a massage.  This last one was 90 min. because I had a friend try one for the first time at the place I go to so I got a free 1/2 hr.  I'm still sore from all the knots she rubbed out.  Praise the Lord for a great Sunday school class, the college and young adults let me attend their class and it is great.
Crazy things I am thankful for... pistachios, love those salty things, crowder peas ( good for you and not fattening), soft bed sheets, boy do they help with a good nights sleep. Off to trunk or treat at church, pictures to follow....Charlene & Roy didn't make it this year, PTL!!!!! 

Joey and I went to visit a friend of ours in hospital last night.  Randy had Bone marrow transplant a few weeks ago and is still in recovery process. It takes a long time for this procedure to work, and then he still has a full year of many visit and precautions to take.  I looked at Kelly last night and she looked wore completely out.  She said she was pretty tired and hated the hospital.  We forget when we live our daily lives that so many people are going through so much.  She mentioned a 35 year old lady with 4 small children who just came in for the same procedure and how it just broke her heart.
Life is hard on so many levels.  We has Christians need to be paying attention to the little things, the quiet winds of people, if we take the time to just look in the eyes of people we will see hurt, stress and just plain wore out souls.  If you are having a good day, a good week or even a good year PRAISE THE LORD and look to help someone else.....Also  keep Randy and Kelly in your prayers, Randy was running a fever yesterday and in alot of pain, he has many sores in his mouth, nose, and throat.

Today is another day of thanks... I am so thankful for the beach, we went with some friends to their house in Sunset beach, Joey went out fishing on a boat in the rain, and I got to walk the sands.  I got to see a couple of bull head crabs, I have never seen in the wild before.  I love the vastness of the ocean, it makes you seem so small. I am thankful for the hard working family I have.  A lot of times we might not know what we are doing next, but they all still work hard.  I heard a lady say one time to her husband as he dropped her off at work, are you going to try to work today.  PTL, I have never had to say that , Joey has always worked and always enjoyed working. I am thankful for a funny husband, who still makes me laugh.  I heard Joyce Meyer say this morning be thankful for the husband you have even if he gets on your nerves sometime, because there is a lonely woman who will eat dinner with him anytime.....so true.  I am thankful for a week of being able to stick pretty much to my new eating routine.  I have not craved those wonderful dark sweet drinks as much as I thought I would and on top of that I have learned to enjoy a good cup of pumpkin spice coffee with a litttle Carmel Macchiato  creamer. Who says you can't teach an old dog new things....

Beth Moore

Beth Moore has once again kicked my butt.  "The Inheritance" Bible study by her is very good. I have known for a while that I needed to get myself under control when it comes to eating.  I am not a big eater but what little I eat is bad. So after church last night I went home and decided to total up my calories and carb counts on what I had eaten yesterday.  Now my calorie count was not as high as I thought it would be but my carb count was out of the roof.  Even though I only eat a handful here and there, its the here and there that adds up.  I realized that luscious brown syrup that I was thankful yesterday is the one thing that really has to go.  If I drink just a couple, or maybe three a day that is more than the carb count a person needs in one day.  So that means I don't need to eat the rest of the day.  I can't live on just the beautiful brown syrup. I know we all fight this battle unless your my extremely persistent daughter who cannot live without exercise and really doesn't like food. Josh told me  the other day  write down everything you put in your mouth for a week and see what that tells you, one day of writing was enough, I say I have never been that  little.  But that is a lie,
I thought I was fat at 115 lbs. as a teenager.  I realize now how little I was, for me to be that little again probably means I am extremely sick. But I know that I can shed quite a few pounds and feel better. So as of today, and since I am putting it out there I expect the few of you who read this to hold me accountable, I am watching what I eat and as that old annoying saying on those diet shows goes "its not a diet its a life style" UGH!!!!!
I have learned last night its not that God can't help me do this he has all the power, its more do I really think I can. So I have set a plot (plan) to possess my land. I am not waiting for it to come to me through sickness or something else, I am going after it. I wrote down a few scripture verses to help when it gets hard.
Proverbs 16:3  Commit your actions to the Lord and your plans will succeed.
I Peter 5:7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.
I Corinthians 6:12 You say, I am allowed to do anything, but not everything is good for you. And even though I am allowed to do anything I must not become a slay to anything.
I Corinthians 6:19 Don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself
I Corinthians 6:20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.
I Corinthians 10:31 So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

Thankful Wednesday

Today I am thankful for a little girl named Harper who spent the night last night.  She threw water on me from out of the bath tub, as parent I would have fussed but as a grandparent, I don't care....
I am thankful that I have learned over time, don't sweat the small stuff. I am thankful that Joey has informed me that it is going to get really cold in a couple weeks, like 40's during the day, lets see if my weatherman is right. I am thankful to be able to go to church and no one stop me to hear from Gods word on Wednesday nights. Here are some crazy things I am thankful for, Coconut Lard, it is great for frying, I made chicken tenders last night to put over salads and it gave it just a touch of coconut flavor. I am once again thankful for COKES,  I know they are bad for you but ole my goodness I don't know what I would do without that luscious brown syrup. I am thankful paper towels, I tried to go a week without them and I didn't realized how many I used, try it sometime....
I am once again thankful for a Lord who has a sense of humor, wouldn't  life be boring without a good laugh now and then.

What to do...

Last week I received my new BCBS projected 2014 bill, it went from $558.00 a month for Joey and I to $1113.00 a month.  I just started laughing, what else is a girl to do.  There is no way on Gods beautiful green earth will I be able to pay that ridiculous amount for health care.  I told Joey that the first person that told me how great everything is with the government I would punch in the face and get some of my frustrations out. I spoke with the BCBS guy and he is just as frustrated as I am his went from $600 to $1200 a month.  Now where is the minds of these educated politicians do they think the average US citizen is going to get an extra $500-$700 to pay for their stupidity.  I have come to the conclusion we need to put some good ole boys and girls in congress and get some crap done right. I know in my simple uneducated mind that when your working people are cut to the knees, and this load of crap that we are dealing with hits them the hardest, because poor people don't pay anyway, rich people it doesn't effect as much,  but us average citizens will feel the most effect from the downfall. I am sure most of you realize that we are giving more for health insurance than most of us tithe a month, we will be giving more than our house payments and more than a technical college tuition a year. I would love to see the politicians live a year on our household salary and then go back to the drawing board and see what they come up with.  I know that alot of times we don't understand how people live when we've never really walked in their shoes.  I also know that when we have more we forget how we use to live.  What to do next is a big question in the Nifong home, but I know one thing I am not paying $1113 a month for insurance. So I better start getting creative.....


 

Thankful Wedneday

I decided a few weeks ago to say what I am thankful for and it seem to fall on Wednesday when I blogged. So, I love this song and when it first came out I cried every time I heard it.  It was my theme song for that year.
Today I am thankful for a granddaughter who already has a love for Jesus even the little bit she knows of him.  She loves to pray and sing Jesus loves me and it just makes my heart bust.
I am thankful for gummy bears, I absolutely love them and its about the only thing I enjoy eating lately. Its not great for the ole hips though.  I am thankful for the cool nights, it has made my sleep so much better.  I am thankful for a husband who is not afraid of animals and things like me, heard a bunch of coyotes outside back door last night, then started my crazy thought of not letting Harper run free in front yard, (they might grab her). I am thankful I can be me and know that there are people out there that love me anyway....

Last week I had the house to myself for a whole week.  I don't think that I have been alone for a whole week in the house since 1985. I ate what I wanted when I wanted.  I watched what I wanted on TV. I went to bed when I wanted and got up pretty much when I wanted except for when the cat was crying to get out. I do believe that we all need a week like this every once in awhile.  But it can be lonely, I went out to eat by myself one day and just watched people as I ate.  I can see for a social person how this can be hard on a day to day basis.  I can see that if something ever did happen to Joey and the kids I would have to make myself get out there.  That you can suck yourself in to being home and alone because it is easier but in the end it is so much harder on you.  I went out with friends for a great night of girl time that I so much needed and appreciated. But as Audrey said when she arrived home from their not so great hunting trip, I didn't realized how much I needed Wesley, even after only 2 1/2 months of marriage. I need my family even if they drive me crazy sometimes and trips like this help me to realize that. Here are pictures of my hunters, the hunting was bad but the memories will last a lifetime. They will say one day remember when....

I need a praise day

I need to say some praises today, after a hard day yesterday, today is once again a new day... So I am thankful for air conditioning, I do not like to be hot. I thank the Lord for make-up, it covers up the dark lines under the eyes. I thank the Lord for knowing I am loved even when I don't feel it. I thank the Lord for music, all kinds that soothe the soul and make me happy. I am thankful for who every came up with lotion.  I hate dry skin... I thank the Lord that there are days he reminds me that in the big scheme of life the little things are not that important to fuss over. I am thankful that I can laugh on days that I feel like crying...it is a choice...I am thankful for Gods great sense of humor, look around...LOL

What makes me laugh

I have a saying I use alot because it is so stupid, I tell Joey we have to be careful we don't want a flip-flop fatality.  This show has some funny sayings, here's a little clip

Are there days.....

Are there days when you really get tired of hearing yourself complain or whine? Lately I feel like that is all I do, I think I remember a old blog of mine that said I was going to look for something good everyday this year, well I blew it. So today I am going to tell you some good for the day..Praise the Lord for the cool autumn morning, Praise the Lord for great friends, Praise the Lord another night of hard sleep, Praise the Lord for bacon, I don't what I would do without it, Praise the Lord that my pants fit today and I didn't have to jump up and down to get in them, Praise the Lord for phones, I can still have communication with my family even though they are many states away.  Praise the Lord for a good ole COKE not Pepsi. Praise the Lord that everyday is a new day do try and get it right......

Quick questions???

When did girls think that they looked better with pouty lips or their tongues stuck out in pictures.
For the life of me I wonder how many of them walk around all day with their lips stuck out. To be honest, I can't stomach those pictures. I wonder when they go for a job interview if they have their tongues stuck out, or first date if they have the pouty lips going on.  Hopefully this too will pass real soon...Just a thought for the day....Just smile instead its much prettier.

Its amazing

It is amazing what a good cry and 6 hrs of sleep will do for a girl.  I realized yesterday that I have not really cried since my mom died. My sister told me at funeral you have to be in charge, I can't do it, then you have to be strong for your friend as they lose a grandchild, then you for sure can't get to tore up when you daughter gets married and leaves for the first time in 26 years. Because if you cry at the wedding, you probably won't be able to stop. Then the feeling goes away for a time.  But live on no sleep for a month or two and those feeling show up fast.  I was suppose to teach Ladies small group Wednesday night. We mainly were going to be praying for a church that night with a little discussion on our first video of the series.  But to be honest, I just couldn't talk to anyone or pray for anything.
My mind was totally spent.  I called a friend of mine and she led the group, I went home, took a shower, put on PJs and laid on the sofa and pretty much cried when anyone spoke to me.  I think Joey panicked a little, he started cleaning out the dishwasher (he gets helpful around the house when he doesn't know what to do with me)  I realized that while I'm not depressed, I am sad.
I understand all the changes that have happened over the last 6 months, and to tell you the truth I love change but just not all at one time.  Diane was worried about me after I called and asked her to lead the group but I told her today, while I might be a little depressed, I am totally not without hope.  I really know that I am just sad and physically tired.  That there are many people in this big ole world that have alot worse things going on in their lives, there are many who have lost not only one parent but two, lost jobs, lost spouses, lost children, lost homes, and lost their minds.  I know that we all have to just deal with life sometimes and it is not pleasant but we deal.  I told my family that I am not losing my mind it is just a little confused lately from lack of sleep but I hope to see light at end of tunnel soon.  A fellow I saw yesterday told me alittle trick and it worked last night.  I have no problem usually going to sleep, the problem is staying asleep. He said instead of taking the melatoin at bedtime, wait till I wake up in middle of night and take it and within 30 min. I will be back asleep.
That worked for me last night. So Praise the Lord for the 6 hrs of hard sleeping.  I woke up singing the "King is Coming" don't know where that came from considering 24 hrs ago I didn't even want to pray. I do really know where it came from, prayers of others.  I told my friend Katie yesterday when she stopped by the office, Life sucks sometimes, but we have to work it through, we have to see where the Lord is leading us and its OK to think that it is hard sometimes. I wrote this yesterday in my Bible Study book, Romans 8:9 But I (Tracy) am not controlled by my sinful nature. I(Tracy) am
controlled by the Holy Spirit as he is living in me. The holy spirit has got to do alot of work...

Todays a new day!! SAY AMEN

Have you ever been so mentally and physically tired but can not seem to rest. Yesterday was a very stressful day of the many I have had lately.  I am too the point of I am tired of hearing myself say I am crazy feeling.  Dad had another surgery yesterday to remove a tumor on his kidney. The doctor said surgery went well but still had to take about half of his kidney.  When dealing with a parent that you have had issues with over the years and knowing that life is short, there are many mind numbing ideas, stress and problems you think about.  And to be honest my brain is just plain tired.  My emotions are on edge which drives me crazy because I like to be in control of these.  I work hard at being the correct southern woman. But yesterday I snapped at little.  My step mom said something to me that hurt my feelings and that is pretty hard to do, and I ran my mouth back at her.  My sister told me to let it go, my husband told me what did I expect and there in lies the problem.  What she said I have always known but when it comes out of the mouth it really puts it where it belongs.  So once again I am at a point in life of figuring out where I belong on these family issues. I am one who just expects people to do the right thing, I try to so that is what I expect. I always try to have hope that others will change, but as Leigh Anne & Joey put it last night, they seem to think I have wasted hope. Which made me even sadder than I already was. My immediate family has no clue to my feelings, they can't understand because not a single one of them has been neglected by a parent. My sister likes to just tuck it away and not deal with it. And then there is me, I like for things to be fixed.  I like for things to be in order.  I like to have all my cards on table and deal with it.  Then I am told to let it go, just not worry about it, get out of that bad mood, things are not going to change so quit trying to fix it.  To say that my Christian attitude was is check yesterday is a understatement.I did have some self control, or I would have ripped my step moms head off. I did use self control when I wanted to cuss like a sailor and Harper was in the car and she said "who you talking to mam-maw"  But I didn't have self-control with my thoughts because I sat and thought of all the mean things I could say but didn't.  Life is a bowl full of cherries sometimes but there are also a few rotten ones in there too.   

Summer in Pictures

Apple Fritter & Apple Julep's YUM!!!!

Dollywood and the rides of my life

My first cantaloupe

Feeding the fish bread in backwards rain boots in the sun

A wonderful day

Harper was going to play her harmonica for the Bridal couple

Pretty good stuff I should have made more

Our inheritance

Last night we started our Fall Bible study with the Beth Moore series "The Inheritance".
I was very excited to get back to Bible study, I have been dry these last few months.  Last night it started with do you want a wild ride, to not be bored.  Then get in the will of God and your ride will be wild, it will not be boring.  I have never really considered my life boring, I am hardly ever bored. But I will say I got a slap in the face last night and lets just say I didn't handle it well.  I arrived at home about 9 and Joey was not there, I became concerned when the kids had not seen or heard from him and when I had left at 6:15 he was mowing the storage buildings and had our other lot to mow and that was it. So panic set in, I started driving to storage bldgs to see if something had happened to him. He didn't answer phone, I knew it didn't take 3 hrs to mow what he had to mow and it had been dark about 45 min.  As I was riding I remembered our lesson on a wild ride and to be honest I told the Lord I don't think I can handle anything extra right now.  I haven't had a more than about 4 hrs sleep a night in about 6 weeks, menopause is kicking my butt like you wouldn't believe, and my emotions are on edge alittle, since I am not thinking rational because of lack of sleep, my first thought on Joey was he has had a accident. So I am talking to Josh on phone, because I am a little nervous to what I will find, and there is Joey in the middle of our lot on Friedberg Rd, mowing in the dark, can't see a lick, riding down the side of the road in ditch just a mowing.  To say that I had a fit is a understatement, to say he decided to cowboy up is a understatement.  Lets just say that I have short term memory to everything I heard at Bible Study last night. Thank GOD that today is a new day, to a new start and new adventures.

Scared to death

This is one of the many things I did this last weekend.  Mainly to prove I still have the nerve, also to prove I am still young at heart. But I will say this will probably the last time I do it. It Scared me to death, I had to remind myself to breath half way through, and I said Shewy,shewy shewy alot....LOL

This is the other ride that I hollered on and called on the the name of Jesus alot.  Once again I thought I would enjoy but after I was up in air 80 feet I realized that I really don't like not being in control.
But I tried and I don't have to do again.

Craziness

Let me  tell you that my life is crazy,  I think that I am not stressed, sure there have been alot of changes over the last 4 months, sure I have been busy, yes menopause is kicking my butt right now, but my blood pressure as of Wednesday was 110/68 and a low pulse rate, does this sound like a really stressed out person to you. This morning I had a experience at the office, I thought I was having a stroke or a aneurysm, my left eye went blurry very quickly, then it went to shiny, glittery, waves. It lasted about 10 minutes, I called Joey and told him to come to office, of course he panicked. Josh told me later that he and Audrey are so screwed if something happens to me. LOL. I called Dr and they said that since I didn't have slurred speech and no headache that unless something changed just relax and wait and see, I then called Eye Dr. and he said to come in, he believes I was having a a migraine. I have never had a migraine and neither has anyone else in my family. I had no headache just really pretty shiny spots and fog.   But at least I know he didn't see any tumors or abnormalities behind my eyes.  So to sum it all up, menopause strikes again. I sure hope this doesn't last for years, or I will be CRAZY

Obedience

Cory and I are on our last discipleship meeting and it is on Obedience. As a older Christan it is good to disciple a new christian because it makes you have to stop and think through why you believe the way you do.  This younger generation will not except because that is how I was raised mind set.
They want to know why you believe it, why your parents believed what they believe and unfortunately many older generations don't know why the believe the way they do.  In this final chapter I have looked up definitions of some words, I want to make sure that Cory understands that complete obedience is expected.   Not partial because the world does not see some things as sin any longer (lies from the pit of Hell). When we walk in newness of life as a Christan our life should be changed, different, improved on daily.  Our old self is corrupt and deceitful but our new self should be righteous and holy. Our goals should be to forget the past, strive for the prized goal, think clearly while exercising self-control. When we think of witchcraft or worshipping idols most of us would say we wouldn't dare, but in I Samuel, stubbornness and rebellion are categorized in the same comparison, who among us doesn't have tendencies of stubbornness or rebellion. To partially obey is to disobey.  We are showing love for God when we do everything he tells us to do and to do it with a joyful heart.  That right there is the hardest part, there are times I know I am suppose to do something but my heart is not right, so even if I do it, it is done in disobedience. We we are obedient to God we are loved by him, we are his friend, we live (abide) in him, and we show others his love.

Redos

If you know me at all you know that I need to stay busy. I have had a lot on my plate as of late, I now see the end of that tunnel.  I have taken up fixing up our house that has been neglected for so long.  I have wanted a new dining room chairs and table but when I came across this paint I loved how easy it was, how fast it dried and the different ways you could use it.  My sister-in-law has gone crazy redoing  her house and furniture.  Here are a few of my first..

 

 

Dining room chairs before and after

A old black lamp redone

Since this has gone so well, I will be redoing a lot of things in house.
I can't wait to see what is next

Wedding, Cancer & Big Girl Panties

This has been a very busy weekend for us.  Audrey & I went to a beautiful wedding Saturday, my friend Cindy's youngest daughter Megan & Thad tied the knot.  He wrote and sang a song to her that was so special.  I kept thinking as he was singing that is such a perfect song, I didn't know at time he had wrote it, I guess that is why it was so perfect. Joey and Josh went to my step-nieces Jackie and Justin's wedding. Justin grew up with Megan at our old church we use to attend so we have known him as long as I have known Jackie since they were babies.  This wedding was a little different, Joey went for moral support of the grooms parents.  To say that we are not sure of this step of marriage is a understatement, but now the commitment is made, the hard work will begin.
But with the good also comes the bad, Friday one of my childhood friends came by the office to share with me that his wife has stage 3 breast cancer.  Joey had been asking all week if I had talked to Mark lately and I was going to call him that day.  Joey had been praying and didn't know what for but the Lord sent him to the office.  He asked if we would come over and Joey (is a elder at our church) anoint her with oil and pray over her and this disease.  So last night, we had a if I can say this, a wonderful time together of prayer and talking.  Barbara is a solid christian, her worry is not really about death she said people should be happy for her she will be with Jesus, she is very concerned for Mark.  Like Joey said, we men are not good left to ourselves.  So in your prayers lift them up, we are expecting a full on miracle and aren't excepting any less.
Also, I received news Monday that my Dad has cancer on his kidney.  He had his prostate removed last week because of complications and not being able to completely empty his bladder.  He was in alot of pain, so after the surgery they sent him for a sonogram to see if he had kidney stones or if they had accidentally cut something during surgery and they noticed the place on his kidney.  So Monday they called to say that it has to be removed along with the possibility of the whole kidney,  they will not know until they get into surgery what exactly will need to be taken out.
My sisters husband has been sick for over a week, sharp pains, fever and they are checking him to see if he has kidney or prostate issues.
With Moms death just 4 months ago, my sister is pretty stressed out, she does not deal with things like I do, I have a deep faith that I am vocal about and dependent on. She is quiet and reserved, doesn't discuss faith, even though I think she is a believer. She has heard and knows, only God knows the heart of everyone.
So to say that we as a family are once again bogged down with concern, Satan will not distract us.
I know that there are people who do not believe that he and his demons will try and keep you down and discouraged.  But I know that it is a daily fight against the evil kingdom of this world. I know that we have to be strong and of good courage to fight.  I know that tears will come, weariness can linger, but as I have been saying these last 6 months, we southern girls have to put on our big girl panties and deal with what is at hand....


   

CS Lewis

One of our greatest allies at present is the Church itself...As for the patient when he gets to his pew and looks around he sees just the selection of his neighbors whom he has avoided.  You want to lean pretty heavily on those neighbors. Make his mind flit to and from between an expression like "the body of Christ" and the actual faces in the next pew. It matters very little of course what kind of people that next pew really contains.They could be a great warrior for Christ, no matter, you see he has a idea of "Christian" in his mind which is suppose to be spiritual but which, in fact, is largely pictorial.  Just keep everything hazy in his mind, work hard on disappointment, or anticlimax of what he thinks church is. But also remember, there in lies the danger.  If once they get through this dryness successfully, they become much less dependent on emotion and much harder to tempt....
I took this from the book "The Screwtape Letters" by C.S. Lewis written in 1942, seventy-one years ago and today the same thing is still happening.  Why do you follow Christ? Do you go to church because it was "how you were raised".  Do you think it will get you into heaven or extra jewels or crowns.  Satan is alive and strong, he knows his time is ending.  I disciple a young woman who became a Christian a little over a year ago.  I told her last week, your relationship with God is your responsibility, no one elses. I have heard, till I am sick of hearing, "I am not going to church this week, nobody will miss me anyway, I haven't heard from the pastor about my family member who was sick, So and so hurt my feelings so I will just change churches. I don't like the way that person talked to my child, so I will drop out of teaching children's church"  Nephew Wormwood and Uncle Screwtape would be proud...

Racing

Last night Joey and I did the in-law thing.  Wesley was racing at Bowman Gray and no one else was in town to watch, Audrey is at beach with his little sister, dad and grandparents. His mom is at home in SC, Josh and family was at beach, so that left us.  I hate for any of my family to do things and no one be there to watch so we went.  It was a very long night.  Pretty boring races, but I did have entertainment throughout the whole night.  Unfortunately it was pretty sad...There was a couple there she was pretty high on something besides alcohol. He was out of control stoned out of his mind.
He couldn't sit up straight at all, he fell over a hundred times, one time I saw her tell him, honey I just want us to enjoy this together, a few minutes later he asked where they were at...DUH do you not hear the loud car engines going around the track.  He probably thought it was something in his head.
I will say I laughed because I realized at one of the moments you just can't fix stupid....We had a little boy with us, Wesley told him, Riley that is why you don't do drugs, that is what you will look like.
I realized once again, this man and his woman need Jesus.  What possess people to be so stoned out of their mind that they don't even know where they are.  This lasted the whole night from 7:30-11:30, he was on some powerful stuff. I told Joey wonder why he just don't stay home in bed. Life passed him by and he doesn't even know what happened around him. Many of us are that way, we are stoned to selfishness, life passes us by and we don't even know what is happening around us.  We are zoned into our own minds, we miss the people around us. This fellow had no idea I filmed him, his girlfriend filmed him, teenagers sitting around him filmed him.  We laughed but at the same time I realized what a very sad, sad situation this was.  He has no hope, no joy, no life. We as Christians should not be missing life around us as this fellow was. 

Harper Sure Did

This is our conversation on the phone, Harper did you go to beach and play,

"Harper sure did"

Harper are you playing with Channing (Josh calls him Chachi)

Harper Sure Did

 

And of course when at the beach you have to eat hot donuts,

Harper sure did

That is her new saying...Oh how I have missed her....

                                                              I like this catchy tune

Choking

Last night we met Josh, Abby & Harper at her favorite restaurant, Don Juans....She tells the waiter rice, beans, and cheese please.  She loves to eat chips and dip, so they order it when they get there and by the time we have our drinks her chips are a little soggy to eat, but perfect for her. Harper has a tendency to choke easy and it is very unsettling.  Audrey doesn't like to keep her during meal times.
Last night I realized in a quick second how things can go terribly wrong in a blink of a eye.  Harper was choking and had a hard time unlodgeing the food.  There was a little air way still open because you could hear noise but her color was getting that pale blue look. Abby finally turned her upside down in the aisle way and she finally got it dislodged so Harper could breathe.  To say that dinner was not so appealing to any of us is a understatement... Harper had tears in her eyes and said "Harper choked." I handed her a napkin and she looked at me and said "Thank you Mam-maw"  in the sweetest voice.  I realized at that moment life can come and go so fast that we take for grant it that little problems are real important. God & Family are the two most important things in life that we have, we need to make the most of everyday with them....

SI Joint

My SI Joint is back out again, so I have been in pain since Saturday. I was suppose to make a announcement at church Sunday morning about our upcoming actives for the rest of summer, so I told Josh to make the announcement and say something catchy so people would pay attention. (Wrong Move) He got up there and told the congregation that I had been in a fist fight at Bowman Gray Stadium the night before and knocked my back out, unfortunately some people believed him.. In saying all this, when you lay around in pain life goes very slow, you have time to think, which I don't need to be doing.
I have realized that I don't need alot of things, that I need to make my house simplified.  Get rid of some junk, de-clutter, and re-arrange what stuff I have. When you lay around and look at stuff you realize that you have to clean around alot of junk that you really don't need.  So my goal this fall is to do just that.

Walk With You- Edwin McCain Lyrics

Audrey and Joey danced to this, I had never heard it until a month ago... unfortunately it was hard to hear when they danced.  But it is a sweet song....

Life is a blur.....Are there times you can't remember what you were doing two hours ago.....Since March I have been on non-stop mode, so life has passed and I am out of the loop. I know things around me are going on but I have had so much stuff to do and so many things happening that I have not been able to really think about others and their lives.  Let me recap, Audrey bought a house, we have helped remodel it for March and April, I had a 30th wedding anniversary, Mom passed away, A great friends grand baby passed away, Sister-in-laws mother passed away, friend from high school passed away, family member passed away,  then friend from church passed away at just 39 years of age this week.  Audrey got engaged, got married, I turned 50, Harper turned 2 and all my children and children-in-laws had birthdays in the last 4 months.  On top of that it has rained and the grass has grown like crazy, so mow, mow, mow.  And then there is work, everybody has to do it. Praise the Lord we have been healthy in our home...This is why I haven't thought of anyone but my life for the last several months.  I understand why people get so caught up in their own lives that they forget other people have problems, hurts, and needs too.  That is why when things are good and you have free time, don't waste it sitting around, look around somebody might  need you.