Friday, February 28, 2014

Life as you know it

Your life is the only life you will have contrary to what some may believe. Life has its ups and down, happy and sad, healthy and not so healthy, prosperous and struggling. The interesting thing about life is sometimes when its hard, sad, unhealthy and struggling it seems to last forever and you wake up and its a year later. I had to write down on paper for my head neuro doctor what some of my hobbies or what I do for fun. This hit me like a ton of bricks, I don't do alot of fun, exciting things.
When I worked with the youth I went everywhere with them, ski retreat, LIFE, and concerts. That fixed my entertainment side of my life. Now I hang out with old people like me....I take one vacation a week a year, usually to the beach, out of the last three years, one my back was out and I could hardly move so no getting in ocean, I might not have gotten out alive, year two kidney stone hit in Rockingham and stopped by ER as we drove into Myrtle, never passed the thing till weeks later. Then last year was first year in 49 years without Mom at beach with us, so vacations have not been the most enjoyable. I do go to mountains but I usually work and mow, its fun but still work involved. I love to paint but that is also work oriented. That's when it hit me that I don't do much just for fun anymore, that is the one thing that is really lacking in my life. I decided after answering those questions that I need to do something once a week just for the fun of it. I didn't realize until I had to stop and think about it that my yearly rest and fun time had been altered and how 3 years had passed since I had a week of real vacation and no stress. We as women have a tendency to put ourselves on the back burner, we make sure everyone else is happy, we even feel guilty for enjoy ourselves to much. But I have realized that we all need a rest, we all need to laugh, we all nee to have something to look forward to. So today plan a fun thing to do this next week, no stress, no work just plain ole fun.

Friday, February 21, 2014


I was going to post on what you do on snow days but today I will tell you of a man who throughout my life has been around.  Harold passed away Wednesday in a fire at his home. I have known him since I was about 8 years old, I lived at his house in the summers and went to his mother-in-laws house every Sunday for lunch growing up.  His house was a sanctuary for me, I could play loud, dance in basement to Michael Jackson and the Osmond's, watch General Hospital and Brian's song every summer, I even had my own mayo there because they ate that nasty Miracle Whip in a jar. Harold never said alot, never really raised his voice at us, he would watch TV while we ran around and Beanie cooked dinner. He hunted, fished, bowled, and worked so he really wasn't around alot but for some reason I loved him.  I told Beanie years ago that I went looking for a man like Harold and I found one, another Nifong, he is like Harold in alot of ways but Beanie told me years ago you better train him better than I have Harold or your in trouble, so I have taught Joey how to make coffee, he can vacuum and mop, and if he has to he can wash his own clothes. Many of things Harold learned much later in life and some he chooses not to learn and hired a cleaning lady. We  have all laughed because Joey can even talk like Harold, he has a raspy kind of voice and Joey sometimes mocked him and would call Rhonda and talk to her like Harold. Harold was from the old school of life, he worked and played and mowed the yard and Beanie did the rest. I guess now looking back what I loved the most was he seemed to be a easy man, mainly because he didn't yell or seem to get to upset over anything. That is what I was looking for in a man so he was the role model I had set for myself.
Harold loved his family, but was not one to show it verbally. Myra always needed his approval, Rhonda is alot like Beanie, she had her mom so she never really needed it. I always thought he loved me, he sold me a very nice antique piece that is in my kitchen, Myra wanted it and I didn't know that till after he had sold it to me. I told her you are welcome to it, but she didn't have any room in her house. Harold had a soft spot for Audrey too, they hugged every Sunday, he went out of his way to check on her and see her. Life changes so quickly and this year I have learned alot through all that has gone on. I believe we need to make the most of everyday, I know the humdrum of life can zap the energy out of you, go to work, cook , clean, go to bed and do it all over the next day. But through out the day look for that little ray of sunshine that can put the light back in life for you. To be honest my little light right now is Harper, when she sings Amazing Grace with me at nap time, or she says in the middle of a rough day, I want to say the blessing at lunch, or she climbs gently up to Buster the cat and talks to him in a whisper, I realize how special life really is and I need to live in the moment and not worry about tomorrow because tomorrow might never come.

Monday, February 10, 2014

No More Food

I thought that my food restrictions for a little while are bad, Audrey's tops the cake. Lets just say that she is getting back to Bible times, she will be eating like Adam and Eve. Fruit, vegetables and some meat with no trimmings.  Her test came back today, she is highly allergic to dairy , so no more ice cream, Oreos, Don Juan cheese dip, cheese balls, mac and cheese (I need to stop with the cheese), or coffee creamer. She  is also highly allergic to malt, so no more vinegars, other that rice, or alcoholic drinks, not that she drinks that many, no more Worchester sauce, ole my I could drink the stuff. She is allergic to bakers yeast, so no more bread unless she can find something the Jewish families eat that is dairy free. She will be looking into their breads.  No more yeast rolls, no more deep dish pizza, no more beer battered onion rings, I think I would just cry. She is also allergic to turmeric, so no more mustard, that is a staple that is used regularly at our house. Ginger, so no more Kyotos.   She is allergic to basil, I have never heard of anyone allergic to basil, I love basil, I eat it all year long. She is allergic to grapefruit I wouldn't miss that. She is allergic to crab, she just started eating it in the last two month and she noticed this weekend at a wedding where they served stuffed mushrooms that her throat got itchy and she had to take Benadryl. She was high on other seafood's and some fish, I told her the best bet is to leave it all alone. She is allergic to squash but not zucchini , red pepper but not green, go figure. She is allergic to teff, never heard of it till today, grown in foreign countries, sometimes used in gluten free products, so now she even has to check that out. So when you think its bad that you can't eat chocolate for a few week, or pintos, or peanut butter. Be thankful that is all you can't eat. That is  what I am telling myself.
As a parent of this grown woman I do feel somewhat guilty that I let her eat chip sandwiches, ice cream and Oreos all of her years living with me.  I never in my wildest dreams thought that she was that allergic to all that she is allergic to. I guess we all think that when you are allergic to things you break out and your throat closes. Not always I have learned, for years we thought she was fighting kidney stones, she has had them, but the severe pain she had  we are realizing was food related pain.  That her chronic mono probably is a result of food allergies.  Joey and I are very hopeful that Audrey will one day soon feel the best she has ever felt and say I never knew that this is what it would feel like to be healthy.