Thursday, April 25, 2013


JB is what I called my mom when we were out in public, she never paid attention to mom.  So we would holler hey JB and she noticed.  Her name is Judy Bennett Davis Chandler, JB for short.
Mom passed away unexpectedly Friday morning from a hemorrhaging stroke in her brain, and God is and was good through all of this.
Mom was a organ donor so when they went in to do the surgery they found a massive tumor on her stomach so they could not harvest any organs.  We believe mom knew something was going on inside her body because for the last month or two she has been alittle ornery.  She has been  sentimental and talked about things she would have done differently.  So Leigh Anne got on her computer and checked her history and saw where mom had been googling stomach cancer, stomach tumor, stomach virus. She always told us that if she got cancer again, especially at this age she would not do one thing about it. The stroke had nothing to do with the cancer just Gods way of taking care of her having no long drawn out pain. She passed away without really knowing anything was happening.  The stroke was so fast and hard that she left this world in spirit Thursday evening but
left in body Friday.
Just a reflection of my Mom, she was extremely independent, loved to shag and listen to beach music, was never organized (till this year, she had all her flower pots planted already) I cried when I saw this. She loved all crafts, I had just fussed at her a week ago about saving powdered creamer jugs, she was making sheep out of them. When I walked back in the house after the memorial service, there is not a room at all that doesn't have something in it that she has painted, from walls, doors, ceramics, pictures, gourds, you name it she has tried to paint it. Her love of gardening has almost done her in, Leigh Anne and I use to tell her when something happened to her we were going to bulldoze the yard. She would take flowers, trees, anything that grew from any ones yard and transplant it back into her yard.  She loved, loved, loved the beach and mountains.  She had a fiery temper ( I wonder where I get that from). She liked and always hoped in people who most would call misfits. She loved to be in the middle of things, she like police work ( she was a deputy for many years). She was a good mother-in-law,  she said she never messed in our business, Leigh Anne and I laughed but Mark and Joey agreed. She was a good Nana, when the kids think of her they say she was a mess.  She spanked all but one, came to alot of  their activities, would do anything for them, took them on trips, and her and Josh thought alike.  I had just called her Thursday afternoon to ask how to handle a person who has a personality like hers, she laughed and said you can't. We get bored easy, we are organized in our minds, where you see it or not, and one day we will hit it big, somebody has to dream big. Her and Josh both lived in their worlds (Judy's World and Josh's World) and nobody seems to bother them. As a mom, she would do anything for us, if we asked.  I pushed her nerves a little more than Leigh Anne did.  I could make her mad faster. She was free spirited, so we get our being able to do something at a drop of a hat from her. We get our organizational skills, paying attention to money, and not having alot of clutter in our homes from not doing what she did. LOL We always laugh about that with her. She was a good cook, good singer, hard worker, friendly to all, and all round great mom who will be missed terribly.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Proverbs 23:7 For as a person thinks in his heart, so he is......Scary

Friday, April 12, 2013

Psalm 91

We have at our church some very sick people, one family is Jettie and Greg Myers.  Jettie has MS and has been on experimental medicine for 6 years and it has gone very well for her, you would have never known she has this disease.  However one of the side effects is that on a rare occasion you can get a virus from it that attacks the brain.  About 8 weeks ago this is what happen to her, the Doctor told her if she would have taken one more dose she would have been dead immediately. Now she is just totally wiped out.  Her husband has to carry her, she sleeps most days, has to go and have MRI like every other day, there are complications that if she is not to a hospital within 30 minutes at certain times she could die. Last night I took them supper, and got to talk with her for just a few minutes, her left side is not working good, she has a few more lesions on her brain, her knees hurt so bad they feel like they are going to explode. She said I know God has not left me, it just feels like it right now.  We all go through seasons that seem to last forever, physical pain makes weeks feel like months.  About a month before Jettie became so sick she spoke in Florida on behalf of MS and the medicine she was on, in small groups the week she got back, she told us she knew what her "calling"
was right now, she got to share with this group of medical people her testimony and how God was using her, she was suppose to speak in California at the end of March. The next week is when all of this hit. The Holy Spirit impressed upon me Psalm 91 during our ladies small group class, so I went home that night and read it, I wrote it in a letter to Jettie and Greg and prayed it out over them, sometimes when we see something hand written we pay more attention than when it is printed.  vs 1" Those who live in the shelter of the most high will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty" .vs 3"He will rescue and protect you from deadly disease" vs 6 " Do not dread the disease that stalks in the darkness"vs 15 " when they call on me I will answer, I will be with them in trouble, I will rescue and honor them":vs 16 "I will reward them with a long life" What is so great about this, Sharon our church secretary who has cancer received a call that same night from a christian German woman is how she wrote it in her blog (I know this funny German lady, she is a Nifong too) and she gave her these same verses. I wrote her to tell her about my experience that night and we both realized how great our God is.....

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Prime Minister

"If you want anything said, ask a man, If you want anyhing done ask a woman" Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher.  I thought she was a smart woman......

Friday, April 5, 2013

A Day in the life of Harper

Her favorite man in the world, they both like to be in spot light

Once again I have mam-maws phone and I know how to use it

Pap-paw loves to see me make a mess in Mam-maws kitchen

Helping pull weeds with Grandmother and watching for cars

Waving at the trucks when they go by, I am such a friendly southern girl

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Empathy & Compassion

Empathy & Compassion go together.  I have learned over the years that you need to experience things to truly have empathy and compassion. Empathy is the capacity to recognize emotions that are being experienced by another. Compassion is the understanding for the suffering of others.
Josh has laughed at me for the last few years, he has said that the kidney stone can't be that bad, that your back can't hurt that much, your such a wienie. Well in the last four months he has experienced both, Kidney stone sent him to hospital twice, and last night he fell out in the front yard at home with his back.  When he called, I told him start laughing about my weight and see if you don't get fat. HA!!!! 
I can tell you I know how you feel about some things but unless I have experienced something similar I really don't know.  I have learned through some of my sicknesses these last few years that until I walk in those shoes I don't know how I would react to something.  I always pray that I will handle situations with grace, love, kindness, and fortitude. One great thing is Christ has seen it all and he can handle anything, I can take it to him, I can rest in him, I can know that if I do my part he will do the rest.

Monday, April 1, 2013

30 Years ago

Happy April Fools Day, Also Happy 30th Wedding Anniversary to me and Joey. Everyone laughs when we say we were married on April Fools Day, most think we are pranking them.  But 30 years ago on  Good Friday, April 1, 1983 Joey and I said  "I do". Little did I know at the time what those two simple words would mean.  I do promise to love you through good times ( new home, having children, having grandchildren, vacations, working together, watching TV together, just spending time the two of us) the bad times ( struggling with money issues, raising children that turn into teens, working together "we are together a lot", sicknesses, and deaths".  For these two words to be so small they sure have big meanings. I will say that saying "I do" with the right partner who wants the same out of life that you want helps.  Having the right partner who is going in the same spiritual direction you are helps. Have the right partner who helps you in your weaknesses and builds up your strengths helps. Having the right partner who laughs right along with you even when life isn't all that funny helps. As I listened to Joey pray at my moms house this Easter, I thought wow what a long way we have come, and what a great man God gave me to live it with. Thirty years ago he would have never stood in front of a group of people and prayed, now he struggles at understanding how hard it is for people to pray publicly.  Thirty years ago, he didn't know how to vacuum, mop, wash clothes ,buy groceries (still not good at this) eat  Japanese food, wear flip flops (just tried on a pair a few years ago), or wear purple and not feel like a real man. Now he does it all, except for cooking he did learn how to make coffee at Christmas because our kids got us a Keurig so how hard can it be. Thirty years ago all I ever made was chicken casserole, spaghetti, slaw and macaroni, so I have learned a few things over the years. I know how to mow, I have drove a dump truck  a few feet for him, I have moved a mini backhoe, I have gone hunting, I have learned to shoot a pistol, I have eaten bear, moose, and elk and I don't particularly care for meat. Thirty years with someone can be a real adventure and challenge but like I said with the right partner it can be quite fun.....