Friday, April 25, 2014

NY Bound & other things

I leave tomorrow for New York City, I am going with Katie, first to install some curtain, then to vacation the rest of the week.This week is the anniversary of her grandsons death and the end of her traumatic year. We both decided we needed a vacation, her last daughter was married last weekend and she cooked all the food for 250 people, so she is wore out. I enjoy going there when I go with someone who knows their way around town.  She does work for people up there all the time so she is great at navigating traffic. I would just die if I had to drive in that town. I am hoping I can maybe find us some tickets to a play, she is taking me to some really cool restaurant she found last time there, there reminds you of old Hollywood. Then we are going to the Hampton's where her brother has a house and chill out there for a few days and when I say chill I mean chill. There is possibility of snow at the end of the week up there.  Thank goodness I like cold weather, it suits me right now in this stage of life.
Went to headache Neurologist today, head still hurts pretty much everyday. The medicine she has me on helps, but I still know I am having migraines due to my eyes go crazy, my neck hurts, and I'm sensitive to sound. I love my son but the tone of his voice is hard on my head some days. I am always telling him talk quieter and if you know him that is hard for him to do, he can't hear good so he always thinks he is talking quietly. I told the Dr. that I was thinking by now they would be stopping, I sleep about 8 hrs a night now, I have cut out pork, chocolate, and alot of other things. She told me today that I have to cut out my cokes, you know that delicious brown sugar syrup that I love to drink.
I have cut them back to only two cans a day. She said this week cut back to one a day and then cut out all together and see what happens.  She said that it might not matter but she has had 3 patients this week that cut them out and their heads quit hurting. So I am going to take some with me to NY but by the time I am back I will be off of them. I told her that when I became allergic to shellfish, my favorite thing to eat, that God was probably going to punish me even more and take away chocolate and cokes, and its looking more like it everyday.  I do truly know that its not punishment, just laughing about how life changes. I am seeing that I can live without things, and am learning to enjoy different things.  But I do crave crab legs, boiled shrimp, bacon and chocolate regularly but I figure if Audrey can give up all the foods she has had to give up surely I can too. Plus I have realized that for most of my life, food has been a high priority, I woke up thinking about it, thought about what I was having for dinner at lunch time, and went to bed planning the next days meals.  Now food has become a chore, I don't crave anything much, and for poor Joey I never plan anymore so he loses out.
Thank goodness he is a breeze when it comes to eating, he loves cereal and he can even cook that....

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Grumbling and Blessings

This morning I stopped by a piece of property Josh bought to build a house on for a couple. I had Harper with me and Joey is doing the grading there and when the kids were small we always went out to the job site to see him work, and Joey asked Harper if she wanted to see Pap-paw run the big tractors, so of course we stopped. When we got there Joey was complaining, he grumbled about the dirt being to wet, he grumbled about so many trees needing to be cut. Josh and I laughed we both agreed that even if this was the best job in the world, he would complain about something.  We all needed to go do some things so we left Mr. Optimist to do his work, we had to go down the road to turn around.  Josh left before me, then I followed. He had slowed down to a crawl to see the lot from the road for a second, and I saw this car coming up behind him, and as I was directly behind it, I knew that they were going to hit Josh , I started hollering in my car, like somebody besides Harper could hear, I was hollering  stop, stop, Josh go ,go. She did stop  but only when she hit the back of his truck, she was going 45-50 mph and never saw his brake lights, we think she was looking over at where Joey was clearing the lot. I saw Joey running across the field and by the time I got my car stopped the lady had gotten out of her car and was walking around it. We just praise the Lord that she was alive because she said she was 80 years old, and her car was mashed, windshield busted, both air bags deployed, and smoke coming out of car. Josh's truck is pretty much toast, the car guy said he thought it was totaled, the frame was bent he told him you got the crap knocked out of you. I know it was bad because Joey said the back of his truck went straight up in the air at impact. To see you child in a car crash in front of your eyes is not fun.  I was so rattled and I had Harper so I was trying to stay calm, but guess who was the calmest, her. I left her in car for a minute to check on Josh, gave her some stickers and a sheet of paper to play with and when I came back to car she was in there singing Jesus Loves Me. Joey told Josh it was his fault he was in a wreck, because of his complaining, of course we know that is not true, however, it does put things in perspective when you see you child crash in front of your eyes and your are complaining about wet dirt...

Friday, April 18, 2014

Working out Life

As I laid in bed this morning and prayed, I told the the Lord that a year ago today life for me changed. Moms one year anniversary is tomorrow but its really today, she had her stroke on April 18, she was brain dead by the time I got to the hospital, but her death certificate reads April 19. I am talking to her about how Josh has alot of the same personality traits as her, big dreamers, A.D.D.,
messy but in their minds organized, people who like to laugh, loved to push my buttons.  I remember her telling me right before I hung up from her that afternoon, you can't change us so quit trying and learn to deal with it. A hour later I got the call from Pops to come to hospital quickly. As I talked with God this morning, I know that we all in life have to deal with whatever comes our way, I always remember my Mam-maw telling me that she hoped she deals with things gracefully, and I have always hoped for that but know that sometimes I fail. I know that my life compared to others is great, its joyful, its hopeful, it is plentiful.  I know that there are people who suffer daily, hourly and to such extremes I can't even imagine. However, my life is my life, just as your life is your life, and we each have to work through our days, weeks and months with whatever is thrown at us. I think the key is to work through it.
  From Philippians 2: Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear.  For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people.  Hold firmly to the word of life.
The key here is to work through life, obeying God through it all, hold firm to the Word. Sure we will fail at times, but we need to continue to work it out.
Life will through us under the truck sometimes, as I write this, Audrey called this morning to say that they have a couple that they are very close to, it is one of Wesley's best friends since elementary school, he was in their wedding, they have a little sweet handicapped boy named Owen, he is 2 1/2 years old, he was born blind and has other complications, unfortunately something has gone wrong this morning  and they are taking him off life support and he is going to be made whole in heaven. Audrey said the year is ending just like it started.
When I started praying a the first of last year for my children to see God for themselves, not for what I have taught them, but make him personal to them, never did I think how this year for both of them would have gone. I always tell my children, my goal as a parent is not to wish you to be happy but to be godly.  With godliness comes joy. 

Wednesday, April 16, 2014


Since her parents have a hard time taking pictures I talked Harper into taking a few this week, Josh only takes pictures on his phone and Abby being a third child growing up her parents didn't take as many pictures of her so she doesn't take many pictures either.

My weeds are a beautiful purple and white right now so we went in stood in the middle of them.

I always wanted tulips and it took me a couple of years to get some to grow, Harper is growing up so fast.

She does not like the white trees only green mam-maw, but I talked her into standing in front of the pink tulip tree.

I put her up in the pink dogwood to hold on while I took her picture. Her cousins where "way,way high" the other day and she wanted to try it.

Saturday, April 12, 2014

My first real dinner party

Last night for the first time since last February we had couples over for a dinner party. Since Wesley and Audrey bought their house last March and it required so much work so that he could live there we worked all of March and alot of April there. Then because my life took just a change over the last year and I was not of my right mind, we haven't had anyone over since about February or so. I decided that it was time to start again with entertaining. Since the head is getting better and I have to live right now with the headaches I figure as long as I can see straight and can hold my head up, I'm going to have to make a effort to get back in the swing of things. It went well, I was exhausted by 11 but all in all everything went good and my food even tasted good.  Joey has laughed lately and told people I cook good cereal. So I am thankful that I haven't lost my touch with cooking, however I did try and make food that even Audrey could eat and healthier for everyone, so I was pleased with the turn out. I have forgotten the enjoyment of cooking for people and having people you don't see often or getting  to spend any quality time with. Life goes so fast and you realize I haven't sat down and talked to you in over a year. I see you and say hey but really get to see how life is going for you.
I have tried to stress to my children friendship is such a needed essential in ones life. You can glean so much from having people with different backgrounds, I have been telling Josh and Abby they need more friends to hang out with besides their family and then Natsu one of the ladies at dinner said last night I think it is special that Josh and Joey like to hang out together. She comes from a military family and she was saying when she got married , she didn't hear from her folks maybe 6 times a year, and I can't even imagine that, I have to tell Joey he can't call Josh at night, he needs to wait till he sees him the next day let him have his family time at night. Then Josh fusses at me for telling him that. Then Pam another lady was a missionary kid and she was telling how she came to the states to go to college and only talked to her family twice a year and she wrote everything down so she could remember to tell them the important things when they called. The other couple their are Yankees, the wife is the sweetest lady you will ever meet, the husband is me in male form. So we give each other a hard time, but I learn alot from him. Hes a little more dramatic than me, but my kids think hes great.
You see friendship can help you see things more clearly sometimes, it helps you appreciate others,
I truly believe it helps you live a much more joyous and happy life to have good friends.  

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Money Issues

Joey and I have had many conversations lately about the handling of money. We have decided that in everyones life money becomes a issue at one time or another. Do we handle money in a godly way or do we make it a god in our lives. With the passing of so many this year we have learned a few more things about money. My mom loved to spend money, she never thought about where it came from, or how hard it was to get, or if she would need some in the future. She lived for the moment. In some ways its great to live so care free but in the end somebody still has to pay. (no pun intended), Then you take Mr. Robert, never had a family of his own, took care of so many people with his money. While doing his estate stuff, we realized that everyone who called he pretty much gave money to..  he gave to save the wolves, every Indian tribe out west, boys clubs, veterans, polar bears, save the whales and many different religious organizations. We decided that since he lived a lone for so long if you called and talked to him at night he would give to them. Robert is the complete opposite of mom, he planned ever detail of where his money would go. His extended family received some and they have not been happy with how he decided the rest should be distributed. Joey and I went to take his sister in North Wilkesboro the rest of her stuff yesterday. We had to sit and talk about how Robert chose to give his money away and it becomes uncomfortable when they are not happy and you have to explain it over and over again that it was his money and his choices of where it went.  We told her that he made it perfect clear in paper and words that it was his money and he could "do exactly what he wanted to do with and nobody better tell him different."
In saying all this money can be cause of so much discord in families, where you hold on to it so much that you neglect your family and their needs,  you use money to get your way and love is conditional to that money, you can make unwise choices and blow it on stupid things and leave your family in bad situations, or you can see money for what it really is, a tool for good. You can pay your bills, your can help people out in need, you can further the kingdom. Money is not bad, but if all your life always revolves around the thoughts of money then you might need to rethink your situation.
Joey and I have over the last 5 years had to rethink how we view money, Joey will tell you that he use to think about it too much, how to save it all, spend on what he wanted, and consumed with the love of it. He keeps a little stash for things he wants and I told him I needed some to pay a Lowe's bill (his things) and his first comments was you can't have my money. I didn't say anything, but I will tell you I am no saint, I thought " I know where it is I'll just go take it anyway" then a couple hours later on our ride home from Jeans, he said I don't know why I said that to you about the money. We all struggle with what we think is mine on a daily basis, but what we need to remember is, nothing is really ours, we die without a thing and take nothing with us, so why not use it for good today...

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Harpers mean voice

Harper now likes to talk to us in this voice were she growls at us. Abby called last night to ask if she has been talking to me with this voice when she doesn't get her way. She got in trouble for telling her mom to get out of her room, then in the bathtub for telling her mom to quit messing with her. Abby asked her where she learned to talk like that  and she said "in Winston". Abby explained to her that you cannot talk to people with this growling voice when she didn't get her way and that she was going to tell all her grandparents and she was going to be punished if it continued.  I think it is funny when she talks with her little growl and I think she thinks she is being funny, but I have to abide by the parents, so today when she looked at me one time and growled "don't look at me Mam-maw" after I hid my smile, I asked her where she heard someone talk like that and she replied "Walmart"... I am not surprised....LOL

Thursday, April 3, 2014


Today is my mothers birthday, she would have been 73, in just a few weeks it will have been a year since she passed away.  Time has flown by so much, we think that when things are hard that time stands still, but I think that when times are tough if flies by too. I  have not been to moms house since Christmas, still have not gone through all her things. Leigh Anne left me and went to beach, I didn't connect at time that it was moms birthday and that's how she copes. Our mom loved, I mean LOVEDDDDD the beach and we would take spur of the moment trips down there when we were younger. So I guess in honor of her, Leigh Anne decided Tues. to go to the beach yesterday.
Ecclesiastes 3
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
There is a time for all things, I have learned this year, you have to be a part of it, you have to enjoy the good, endure the bad, and try to be in the moment at hand.  

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

April Fools Day

Today has more meaning for me than just tricking people.  I have never been one for tricks. But 31 years ago Joey and I got married on April Fools Day, Good Friday and a over all cold weekend.  I remember when we decided to get married in two weeks time, first everyone thought I was pregnant (not), second we were just going to run off and Myra fussed at me and said you can have a quite small wedding at church in no time at all (250 no invitations sent out guest, mother ready to kill me) , third Joe (Joeys Daddy) was dying of cancer and we wanted him there, last but not least I knew if I didn't get Joey down the aisle, his mother might try to get him to stay at home a  little longer, LOL.
I told Joey the other day I think that this last year has probably been the hardest of our married life, he on the other hand says so sweetly none of them have been that bad.  He is a forgetful man. Audrey gave me a card yesterday and she wrote thank you for showing us that marriage isn't always a fairy tale, but can work if two people are willing. Happy Anniversary to us....