Friday, July 23, 2010

Beach Bound

As I head for the beach this next week, I have two goals in mind. First to catch up on some much needed sleep. Second to get my mind clear and realize who's voice I should be listening to. As I was listening to this song, I realized that some of my problem right now is that I am listening to thoughts inside my own head. These thoughts have not been good ones. I know some of it has to do with me not getting enough sleep. When you don't sleep, your mind can get the best of you. I know others struggle with themselves, their personality, their make-up, why God makes us the way he does. Last night Joey said something very casually to me at dinner "just don't say anything, let them make the decisions" I began to cry (crazy, I know) I told him I wasn't making the decision I just told my sister I couldn't leave for the beach until after church. I am so struggling with who I am. I was reading a book on the life of C.S. Lewis his stepson wrote it, he said that Mr. Lewis once commented that people don't know how to be friends anymore. That people think that if you speak your peace and it is different than theirs then you can't be friends. He had a couple of friends that he argued with regularly, didn't see eye to eye on hardly anything, but still regarded them as friend. I guess this is my struggle, in the last week I have heard from friends and family alike, "you know how you are, you like to take charge of things", "I wouldn't say no to you I am afraid of you", " you just need to keep your D---- mouth shut and let me handle it"," you need to just not worry about it, its not your problem", you know you and her look alike she has gained weight too". So you see everyday somebody new has said one of these things to me, and last night when poor Joey said that to me, I lost it, mainly because I am so tired from not sleeping. I know God made me a smart, organized, intuitive, pure hearted, honest, hardworking, unselfish, caring person. I have just been listening to all these people in my head and not listening to the words of truth, like the song says. Take heart all you who struggle like me, whether people understand us , God made us and loves us and we need to except ourselves...

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

A decision

I love the summer sound of this song. In Sunday school with the college group this week, one brought up that she made a decision to believe the Bible. We talked about how some of our decisions cannot be made solely on feelings. Sure when you accept Christ there is a moving like no other from the Holy Spirit. But as you live life in the flesh, there are many times that you might question your salvation because of your behavior, thoughts and feelings. Our feelings control most of our life. When we are tired we don't always make great choices, when we are happy sometimes our choices are because we are feeling good, that doesn't mean that it is a great choice (could be). But the Bible gives us truths and no matter our feelings we have to decided what we will follow. Feelings aside, because feelings can lie....

Friday, July 16, 2010

This is the day

This is the day the Lord has made let us rejoice in it....

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

I use to think

I use to think I knew something about God, but as I get older and hopefully wiser I realize that I have no clue about alot of things. Just when I think I have something figured out, wham....I am confused again. We have a 18 year at our church who just gave birth to a little boy about 3 weeks ago. Last night in the rain storm, she had a wreck and the baby drowned in a creek. Amanda is bruised up and in shock but doing alright physically. I think about this tragic situation and honestly try not to think about it because it is so sad. Here is the time in life when you have more questions than answers. You know God sees the bigger picture and all you see is the immediate surroundings. Life changes fast, things happen and sometimes we don't know for what reason. We just have to trust. Trust that God knows best for us, trust that he does see the bigger picture, trust that he loves us even in the times when we don't feel love. Trust that in all things God has a purpose for our life. Please pray for Amanda and her family during this hard time. Pray she will not feel guilty and that she will find peace at some time.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Nothing to say

I find myself with not alot to say. I 'm not wanting to sound rude but I'm kind of tired of people. I can't believe I am writing this but I know others feel the same way at times. I think we get this way when we are tired. We don't want to talk, we don't want to read, we don't even want to listen. We just want to be.....I know that it is not a good state to be in for a long time, but I do think there are times when we need quiet, we need separation from life. I have been listening to old Motown songs on utube today, and just enjoying good old music. I am a big Motown fan.
I don't have to think, talk and examine what is happening. I just get to enjoy.... So if you find yourself frustrated with the world, with having to think, or with having to be kind. Take a moment to sit back and listen to some old up-beat Motown music and just relax...

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Look Up

Right now for some reason I am intrigued with the sky. I love to go out at night and see the difference each evening provides. This one is more in the purple and yellow line compared to my earlier blog with the pinks and blues. I am trying to take life simple. The 4th of July we spent in the mountains, it was in the 70's & low 80's and at night it got down to the 50's. I had to wear a coat to the fireworks display. I loved it...I am trying to enjoy life and not think about it so much. My goal for the summer is to live for the day and not worry about tomorrow. To enjoy the small things in life and pay attention to the little details. For instance, the above picture. How many times do we not look up in the evening and for a brief moment just enjoy the beautiful scenes presented to us by the creator. Nothing man made only God formed, in a second he can make things lovely, pure, excellent, and praise worthy. We should be thinking on these things .......

Friday, July 2, 2010


When you feel like you can't go on, he will deliver you....King David has 28 verses in Psalms where he is asking God to deliver him. He wanted to be delivered from his fears, his enemies, from death, from troubles, and probably sometimes from himself. And God answers......