Once again, I am being convicted of many areas in my life where I am not living up to the potential God has for me. A Good Life is a life full of mercy. I can't help or fix everyone on planet earth. I realized last night that God puts people in our paths everyday. I need to concentrate on who is in front of me for that day. Take the time to stop and pay attention to the needs that are around me, I can't fix all of the world hunger and need but there are people in this community that do need help.
If I can't afford at the time to give money to the situation I learned last night that I can give people dignity. I can acknowledge them and what they do. I can smile at the man that sells the newspapers at the stop light, sometimes I happen to have $5 to give for a paper, sometimes I don't. I can pay attention to the children at church or in the grocery store that seem to not get any attention from adults at home. Dignity is defined as showing someone worthiness of respect, esteem or honor.
That cost us no money just time and attention and feelings. That is probably the hardest part, feelings, how many of us really want to have feelings for others, we have needy families, needy churches, needy work, we are drained to give any more. The wise thing to do is see if we are wasting our feelings on areas that could be more useful somewhere else.
Since this summer I have been paranoid about what I call my "rhino" hump on the base of my neck.
I thought it came from being overweight. I thought it was early stages of osteo, but there is a small what they call brown fatty tissue pocket, not white thank goodness ( I am being sarcastic) at the base of my neck, but after 3 doctors and x-rays, the specialist has decided that the hump is not what is causing me pain in my neck and shoulders. Instead it is arthritis and stress. I have never really been what I thought to be a outwardly stressful person, I usually can roll with most punches. Plus, I am not introverted so I don't hold much back, but I do tense up in my upper back and shoulders. So Thursday I started Physical Therapy once again and larger doses of ibuprofen. Thursday was great my back was on fire for thirty minutes after leaving that office. It was painful but I can almost turn my head and look over my shoulder now. Today, they put me in traction and pulled on my neck, if only it will get rid of my double chin, I will be forever grateful. Then, Tracy (the strong handed therapist) pinched my neck and throat till I thought I was going to cry, she laughed and said she has never seen such tight muscles. She thought she could make music by playing a violin string on my neck. I have to try and sit different at the office, I have to learn to sleep on my back, which I absolutely hate. I have to wear the most unflattering tan tape around my neck. Then go back and do some new things again Friday. I have come to the conclusion all this started when I started working at the storage building and sitting in a office. I need a massage therapist to visit me once a week at the office...Say Amen to that!
Just a funny note, you know how I was talking about how my time seems to be so important. Yesterday morning at the Walmart (I know Cindy) I was waiting to check out and the only line available had a lady with a large load of groceries. I got in line and started thinking about why doesn't she hurry up, why is she only putting a few groceries up then walks to the bag area puts a few bags in buggy, goes back to put a few more groceries on the conveyor belt, checks the bags again, this went on for 15 min. What she was doing was checking to see how much everything cost, she only had a certain amount in stamps to pay for the food, she ended up sending some of the vegetables back, she kept the oreos, chips, drinks, etc. I had to laugh because of the many things that played out in my mind, but I did realize that time was still not the most important thing. The check out lady was very nice to me about it taking so long and I got to chat with her. I told her I appreciated her good attitude because I know working there can be very hard sometimes. So when our time gets messed up maybe there is another reason it takes so long, I am trying to see the hidden things in life.
Time seems to be very important for us Americans. we seem to never have anytime for anyone, never have time to do the things we like to do, time to get everything done in the day that we have planned. We are always looking at how long it took us in the grocery store line, the bank line, the preachers sermon. We plan when the right time is to have children, we plan the timing of coloring our hair so that it looks right for this next event in our lives. Why is time so important to us? We think of time in hrs, days, weeks. I believe that we as a country, as people of the USA, think our time is more important that others. God's time is so different than ours. I want to be fixed spiritual immediately, I want my children to know what I know now and they are twenty years younger than me. Why do I think God is not working the way I think he should, could it be that he is not doing it in my time frame.
My friend Cathy and I are going to a wedding in SC Saturday, Joey and Sohni couldn't go and probably the bride will be sad that we are there and they are not. But she knows that October is hunting season. The reason I know she knows is because as a young teenage she spent time at our house alot, and she stole one of Joey's deer callers and has kept it ever since. She moved away I think her sophomore year of high school, and we try to keep in touch when she is in town. She is now 30 years old and a lovely woman. As a teenager she was the rowdy one out of the 3 girls in the family, she was funny to the core, and she never thought anyone would marry her, she thought she was the ugly duckling of the family. As many teenagers, they are blinded to the many beautiful qualities they have but others see it. Memories of working with the youth at Faith come back to me regularly and you always hope that somehow God used you to make a difference in their lives. Cathy and I are excited to go to see Becky and Ward tie the knot as they say. It will be a fun day of seeing old friends.
Why is it when you are suppose to be learning something from God Almighty you mess it up almost every time. James 1: 19- 20 "You must be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires" Boy do I have a way to go