Nerves

For the last couple of months I have had a headache on and off, I figured once again welcome to the world of menopause.  My  personal nurse, Tobi said next time you have a headache take your blood pressure so we can make sure it is not tied to each other.  Last week  I had a tighten in back of head that lasted on and off all week. So I remember to take BP well I about fell off chair, my BP usually runs 120/75 it was 165/100 I thought maybe machine was off so I took it every half hour for a couple hrs, it fluctuated from 145/85 or 165/100 all afternoon, so I called office and they had me come in.  Because of moms only stroke and since it was life ending he decided I need a MRI Saturday. So stressing out in that little tube with the rock band drums going off in my head for 20 min. didn't help my BP. Today they finally tell me that I have to see a neurologist because it showed on the MRI a possible small stroke has occurred at some point.  BP is still up and down, they have put me on BP medicine till I get to Dr. Thursday.  In saying all this, please pray family is nervous along with me. My sister is very upset still having hard time with the holidays coming and mom not being there and I am really her only family now. So she is nervous along with me. Pastor asked Sunday, are you really ready for the Lord to return. Do you look for it? In saying this, are you really ready to leave this world? I say sure Heaven will be a better place, I know where I am going, but when the rubber hits the road, and you have to sit and think will I wake up in the morning or die in sleep, will I have a larger stroke like mom and it knock me out fast and hard, will I have a stroke and become like so many I know who have had a stroke. Trying to stay positive and except this time of life that God allows you to be in can sometimes knock the wind out of you. One thing I do know is that God is in complete control and I really don't have but so much of a say in what happens.  I know I can exercise more, eat better, sleep more and try and not stress over the dumb stuff and use the brains the Lord has given me.