Yesterday was my first Christmas without my mother, with out my daughter living at home and my first Christmas day without seeing my son. Joey asked me last night on the way to my Moms house what was I thinking about and I told him I was trying very hard not to think. You see, we thinkers, can think our self down into a pit if we are not careful. We can think, analyze, wonder what ifs and drive our self crazy with our own minds. So this Holiday I decided I would not think about much from Thanksgiving until first of year. I told my friend Cindy this year my Christmas tree probably looked the best it has looked in years and only my immediate family saw it. Usually from Thanksgiving to Christmas I try and have two nights a week with people over but this year I just couldn't entertain. And you know what I found out, that its alright to feel this way, I am not going to beat myself up. I of course was a little sad at the small amount of activity we had, but deep down I know its what I needed for this year. It was weird sitting at mom's house, messing in her kitchen, and not hearing her laugh this year. She liked to laugh. My sister struggled alot yesterday, I think her way of dealing was taking alot of napsthrough out the day. I don't think Josh wanted to handle going out to moms without her there so they just stayed at Abby's family events. Wesley was having one of his spells, so he and Audrey just hung out close to home and his Dad and Moms houses.
I know life is always changing, sometimes good,sometimes not so good, but we have to adjust. But thank goodness the one who allows me to walk through the life I live never changes.
James 1:17 Everything good comes from God. Every perfect gift is from him. These good gifts come down from the Father who made all the lights in the sky. But God never changes like the shadows from those lights. He is always the same
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