Hard putting into words

Putting into words without crying is hard to do. Honestly, I have tried not to think about it. I've tried to somewhat pretend it was not happening, even though I knew it was. But this week has been a major breakthrough. Joey has been struggling since about August, mentally and spiritually. As most men are, he kept alot in, however I do know him sometimes better than he knows himself. I pushed when I thought I needed to, and stepped back at other times. Men get their self-esteem from their job, (first of all, I think that this is awful, why can't they get it from the people who love and respect them) but Joey really has not had a employment goal for about 5 years, he kept thinking something would come around. He has worked, sometimes harder than he had all those years in business, but nothing that says, here is your new career, get busy. So I have been pushing him a little bit to start making a plan. He has no idea still the direction he is suppose to take, thank goodness God still has kept us a float. But in saying all this, God spoke to Joey Monday while he was on a backhoe praying at our new church. He said it was almost audible to him. It has moved him so much that he cannot hardly talk about it without tears coming to his eyes and if you know Joey this doesn't happen often. I knew this fall that he was broken but I had no idea how to fix it, I knew I couldn't fix it only God could. I hoped that he would figure it out and not go so deep it would be hard to return or not return. Joey keeps telling me that this week is his recovery week, like after you have been in a bad wreak, you need time to recover. I have sat back and listened carefully to him, asked him to take it slow, he is so excited to see the light again. Most people who know Joey, would never know what and where his mind has been these last 6 month. Our children knew sometime was wrong but never to the extreme of my worry, I would tell them to be patience, for Josh not to pick on his Dad so much.
To just encourage him as much as possible. Men do need encouragement, I have always thought Joey was smarter, kinder and more thoughtful than he ever thought he was. Telling someone that and them believe they are, are two different things. I will say that I thank God that he has shown Joey things that he hasn't shown me this last week. That Joey is experiencing God in a whole new way. That he is finally at peace with somethings that has been a struggle these last 6 months. As verse that the Lord showed Joey on Monday night was I Corinthians 2:3&4 " I came to you in weakness and trembling. My message and preaching were not with wise words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on human wisdom, but on God's power." Joey's comment to me after reading this was, I was before God, in weakness, sitting on a backhoe in the middle of a field, and my prayer was not made up of wise eloquent words, just a construction workers vocabulary and God showed me his power and made me speechless. I thought that if those men out there working were looking at me at the particular time, they would probably say I was losing it and I could not have explained to them what was happening at that moment. GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME.