Gummy Bear

My friend Cindy kept us updated on the experience of being a soon to be grandmother. I will try to give updates along the way. Josh and Abby went last week she had another picture took, she has a really large cyst on her ovary so they are keeping a eye out. Josh informed us that he got to see his little gummy bear as he called it. I laugh but when you look at the picture if does kind of look like a gummy bear. Cindy always had little names for her little grandchild along the way, so mine is now not a lentil but a gummy bear. Joey thought the picture was so cool, he forgets all the things we did with our to be born children, plus they do things differently now than we did. Abby is doing wonderfully, her mom never got sick during her pregnancy and I think Abby is going to follow her. I was playing with a little boy at our church Sunday, and thought next year this time I will have one to play with..... So excited.....

MRI

Went for my first MRI this morning. I am a fidgety person so the man said you cannot move around once we start. He also informed me that it was very loud and gave my ear plugs. I thought no big deal. Then he said it will take about 20-25 minutes. There is the problem. I decided that since I don't like small confined areas, that I would pray while I laid there to keep my mind off of not moving. Let me tell you, there is no praying in a MRI. The noise is so loud and if you have never had one your not sure of what is next. You can barely hear your own voice in your head. So, I tired to pray but failed completely. Instead I started think I need to cough, will that make me move to much. My arm has fallen asleep over my head, can I move it or will that change my body alignment. I didn't want to open my eyes because you see this giant saucer over you and you feel a little closed in and plus the noise made me wonder if it would affect my eyesight with all the radio waves going all around me. The man tried to tell my I would probably be asleep by the end but he doesn't know me, my mind went in all directions. "Is this dangerous, what about the metal in my mouth, does chewing gum have metal in it, should I ask if I can cough, Pray for somebody, maybe I had better concentration so that I don't move, try praying again." To tell you my brain is wore slap out already is an understatement. Hopefully they can figure out my problem and I will not have to put my brain to the stress again.

Home movies

The last two nights we have sit and watched old home movies when our children were small. I didn't realize how funny Audrey was as a child. She was very determined to have her way when she was young, and "no" was not an option she seem to think. But when looking back at her she had some real funny lines she threw at us, that I had forgotten. Josh was always wanting on the screen, in about every video you hear me or Joey saying "son get out of the way, Josh move, or son let someone else in the video." He was always singing or dancing in them. I had forgot how they played together so well. They took turns on sleighs in the snow, they took turns make videos, and I let them get away with more than I thought. We all sit and laughed together last night, Abby realized how country we really are. Sometimes it fun to remember old memories.....

Winter Snow

There is something so beautiful about the first winter snow. Today it was a sweet snow that gets you in the Christmas spirit.

Where have I been

Right now, I am sitting at my office with a heated massage chair. My back went out again yesterday. I could hardly move and the pain is pretty bad. My sister brought me some muscle relaxer and they seem to work fairly well. I need to lay flat and unfortunately you can't do this sitting at a office. As I laid in bed this morning after falling asleep at 8:00pm ( and if you know me this is a miracle) I realized that yesterday passed and I didn't have a normal thought throughout the whole day. Pain is a mind taker. It took away everyday thoughts, plans I had , and made me focus on it and I will tell you that this is very infuriating to me. I realized that people with chronic pain can't think like normal healthy people. I now have more compassion for people who can't shake the pain. Don't get me wrong, I still believe that our mind can bring us down more, so we have to keep a fighting spirit and not let our pain control us. In saying that, I am determine to feel better and hope that my brain comes back to reality soon.