Enable or not?

Last night I had a major anger attack at my pastor and youth pastor.  We have neighbor children that we pick up sometimes for events at our church.  They like coming and their parents don't and won't attend.  I know as a church we are to help the needy, poor and widowed.  We are to be a shining light to the world.  But I questioned the youth pastor this morning on when and where do they (the children and their parents) have to take responsibility.   Are we the church teaching and training them in responsibility or we enabling them to expect to be taken care of without any participation on their part.  They don't ever have to work for the trips and events that they participate in.  The don't pay, someone else gives money for the church to that they can go and we never expect anything from them.  Are we teaching yet another generation to be taken care of, to be entitled to  and  some sense of disrespect and ungratefulness. We can look at their home life and say they have no idea how to live a responsible life, when their parents have no idea at the age of 10, 11, 12 who they are with or how they get there as long as they are out of their hair for a few hours. We as a church are to be a shining light to the needy, we are to teach them God's love.  But in the Word it says no work, no food.The Word teaches giving not taking.  We need to help them understand how to grow up to be responsible adults, different from how they are being raised, so that they can in turn help another child one day.