Something to ponder

Before this next new year begins, I thought of something as I sat at home sick once more from a new disease I have never heard of until Saturday.  I have uvulalists, its like strep of the hangy down thing in back of your throat.  Trust me it is different than strep throat, usually within a day of antibodics you are feeling better but with this the blisters down throat last a little longer. But with a shot in rear and a weeks worth of pills I should be better in no time, but getting back to my title state of something to ponder.  When I read on Facebook about great and miraculous things that happen in peoples life they always say God is so good.  Isn't God good in the hard and bad times also. I spoke with a friend of ours who wife died this summer at the young age of 40, he sang a song that he use to always sing before she spoke about have MS and gave her testimony for the first time since her death. To say it was moving is a understatement.  The meaning of the song was if all was taken away would I still praise you. If you knew this man you would not believe what a testimony he has had since her death. I posed this questions to him and his answer was I think God is even greater in the hard times.  I am sorry to say that I have not even hinted that God is good these last 6 months. But I do want to testify today that no matter what is happening. no matter the illness, no matter how life seems totally confusing sometimes...GOD IS GOOD

Reflection of Christmas Past

Yesterday was my first Christmas without my mother, with out my daughter living at home and my first Christmas day without seeing my son.  Joey asked me last night on the way to my Moms house what was I thinking about and I told him I was trying very hard not to think.  You see, we thinkers, can think our self down into a pit if we are not careful. We can think, analyze, wonder what ifs and drive our self crazy with our own minds. So this Holiday I decided I would not think about much from Thanksgiving until first of year. I told my friend Cindy this year my Christmas tree probably looked the best it has looked in years and only my immediate family saw it.  Usually from Thanksgiving to Christmas I try and have two nights a week with people over but this year I just couldn't entertain.  And you know what I found out, that its alright to feel this way, I am not going to beat myself up. I of course was a little sad at the small amount of activity we had, but deep down I know its what I needed for this year.  It was weird sitting at mom's house, messing in her kitchen, and not hearing her laugh this year. She liked to laugh. My sister struggled alot yesterday, I think her way of dealing was taking alot of napsthrough out the day. I don't think Josh wanted to handle going out to moms without her there so they just stayed at Abby's family events. Wesley was having one of his spells, so he and Audrey  just hung out close to home and his Dad and Moms houses.
I know life is always changing, sometimes good,sometimes not so good, but we have to adjust. But thank goodness the one who allows me to walk through the life I live never changes.
  James 1:17  Everything good comes from God. Every perfect gift is from him. These good gifts come down from the Father who made all the lights in the sky. But God never changes like the shadows from those lights. He is always the same

Praise the Lord

Wesley's report from his MRI showed no lesions for MS. Praise the Lord.  I spoke with the Radiologist, he is a friend of my sisters, so Wesley told him to call me with results.  I told him Wesley's symptoms and he reviewed it again and said that it looks like a normal brain to him.  So we are thankful they didn't see any of this disease or a brain tumor or anything like that.  Now they will have to go a different route. Audrey was so relieved that they decided that they will not talk about it until they hear from Dr. on what the next plan is. I will say that I am normally a positive person but since this year has kicked us in the gut many times I will be honest and say that I really was expecting the worse. A friend of mine from church who puts me in my place a lot of times said I can't believe you are just writing off that it could be something as simple as  a pinched nerve and going straight to MS. Now while Wesley does have a lot of the listed symptoms for MS, the Lord did bring to mind in the middle of the night that I was being very negative and not even expecting a positive outcome which is so not my usual character.  So I had to tell Audrey I was sorry for being such a negative ninny and that I would look for the positive first 

Emmanuel

                                    Heard this morning and remembered why I loved it so...

Frustrated

Do you know that the whole medical field can be very frustrating.  I guess because people are living longer, we have so many that are not on health insurance,people go to the doctor for every little thing  and now with the new health care mess we are getting ready to start. Dealing with protocol from Dr's offices can be a pain. Once again they want to run blood work on Wesley since this Dr. has never seen him before.  They once again did not order a MRI, they want to wait and see what the test show.
The  Dr.  yesterday told him you don't have MS, how does he know without running a test, just by their 15 minute visit, and Audrey said he talked down to them so bad that she was frustrated when they left.  He told them he probably had a thyroid issue, BS is all I can say. He went on to tell  them they were the number one office dealing with MS, so by looking at people he is a expert without  doing any medical test.  To say that his mother, me and his step-mom (who is a nurse) were upset is a understatement.  As you get older you realized how the real world works and you have to be the advocate for yourself in the medical field.  They don't really care because it has nothing to do with them. You are a number on a chart and money in the bank.  Last night Wesley cooked us supper and he said I don't want to talk about any of this tonight, so we didn't.  But today is a new day....

Harpers first solo with be....

Harper is singing her first solo Sunday night at church, I know I will probably cry even though we have been singing it for weeks....

Todays a new day

Todays a new day and a new thought process...I love Christmas music so here is one of my favorites

Ankle panties

As I sit here I am trying hard to put on my so called big girl panties, but I think I want a new pair...LOL Since my last health post, I am now scheduled to see a thyroid doctor, I would spell out the proper name for it but I did graduate for North Davidson.  He will do another ultrasound and possible biopsy the day after Christmas. My BP is a little under control, but head still hurts.
Wesley went to doctor today and they are setting up a appointment with a neurologist to see if he has MS. They think as we have that he has alot of the symptoms.  So we will rule out steps and go from there.  As a mother in law, there is not much I can do but pray and wait.  As a mother of the newlywed bride I will say my big girl panties are at my ankles. Audrey of course is very nervous, she grew up with a friend of mine who has MS and we just had a young friend die a few months ago from MS, so that is what she is thinking on. Of course we as humans go to worse case scenario and it could be a slipped disc or something else.
Life is hard sometimes I truly can't imagine going through this time without the comfort of the Lord, and prayers from family and friends.

Christmas Activities

Before

After, I love the purple

My tree this year has alot of Audreys wedding things on it, made it look real rustic

Nervous, not sure who is coming through the door

She is starting to smile...I see my Daddy

Happy

 I like for some reason..... Never heard it before till 4:30 in morning and it caught my attention....