Have you ever been so mentally and physically tired but can not seem to rest. Yesterday was a very stressful day of the many I have had lately.  I am too the point of I am tired of hearing myself say I am crazy feeling.  Dad had another surgery yesterday to remove a tumor on his kidney. The doctor said surgery went well but still had to take about half of his kidney.  When dealing with a parent that you have had issues with over the years and knowing that life is short, there are many mind numbing ideas, stress and problems you think about.  And to be honest my brain is just plain tired.  My emotions are on edge which drives me crazy because I like to be in control of these.  I work hard at being the correct southern woman. But yesterday I snapped at little.  My step mom said something to me that hurt my feelings and that is pretty hard to do, and I ran my mouth back at her.  My sister told me to let it go, my husband told me what did I expect and there in lies the problem.  What she said I have always known but when it comes out of the mouth it really puts it where it belongs.  So once again I am at a point in life of figuring out where I belong on these family issues. I am one who just expects people to do the right thing, I try to so that is what I expect. I always try to have hope that others will change, but as Leigh Anne & Joey put it last night, they seem to think I have wasted hope. Which made me even sadder than I already was. My immediate family has no clue to my feelings, they can't understand because not a single one of them has been neglected by a parent. My sister likes to just tuck it away and not deal with it. And then there is me, I like for things to be fixed.  I like for things to be in order.  I like to have all my cards on table and deal with it.  Then I am told to let it go, just not worry about it, get out of that bad mood, things are not going to change so quit trying to fix it.  To say that my Christian attitude was is check yesterday is a understatement.I did have some self control, or I would have ripped my step moms head off. I did use self control when I wanted to cuss like a sailor and Harper was in the car and she said "who you talking to mam-maw"  But I didn't have self-control with my thoughts because I sat and thought of all the mean things I could say but didn't.  Life is a bowl full of cherries sometimes but there are also a few rotten ones in there too.   

Summer in Pictures

Apple Fritter & Apple Julep's YUM!!!!

Dollywood and the rides of my life

My first cantaloupe

Feeding the fish bread in backwards rain boots in the sun

A wonderful day

Harper was going to play her harmonica for the Bridal couple

Pretty good stuff I should have made more

Our inheritance

Last night we started our Fall Bible study with the Beth Moore series "The Inheritance".
I was very excited to get back to Bible study, I have been dry these last few months.  Last night it started with do you want a wild ride, to not be bored.  Then get in the will of God and your ride will be wild, it will not be boring.  I have never really considered my life boring, I am hardly ever bored. But I will say I got a slap in the face last night and lets just say I didn't handle it well.  I arrived at home about 9 and Joey was not there, I became concerned when the kids had not seen or heard from him and when I had left at 6:15 he was mowing the storage buildings and had our other lot to mow and that was it. So panic set in, I started driving to storage bldgs to see if something had happened to him. He didn't answer phone, I knew it didn't take 3 hrs to mow what he had to mow and it had been dark about 45 min.  As I was riding I remembered our lesson on a wild ride and to be honest I told the Lord I don't think I can handle anything extra right now.  I haven't had a more than about 4 hrs sleep a night in about 6 weeks, menopause is kicking my butt like you wouldn't believe, and my emotions are on edge alittle, since I am not thinking rational because of lack of sleep, my first thought on Joey was he has had a accident. So I am talking to Josh on phone, because I am a little nervous to what I will find, and there is Joey in the middle of our lot on Friedberg Rd, mowing in the dark, can't see a lick, riding down the side of the road in ditch just a mowing.  To say that I had a fit is a understatement, to say he decided to cowboy up is a understatement.  Lets just say that I have short term memory to everything I heard at Bible Study last night. Thank GOD that today is a new day, to a new start and new adventures.

Scared to death

This is one of the many things I did this last weekend.  Mainly to prove I still have the nerve, also to prove I am still young at heart. But I will say this will probably the last time I do it. It Scared me to death, I had to remind myself to breath half way through, and I said Shewy,shewy shewy alot....LOL

This is the other ride that I hollered on and called on the the name of Jesus alot.  Once again I thought I would enjoy but after I was up in air 80 feet I realized that I really don't like not being in control.
But I tried and I don't have to do again.